Midnight Margaritas

2011-11-09T15:48:00.003-06:00

If we have said it once, we have said it a million times - what terrible bloggers we are! Now granted there was much much revelry after Dr. V announced her pending nuptials, but JesusMaryChain we have no excuse for missing the whole summer? Do we?

Here's my excuse that I'm offering up: I got a new job and after Chef returned from the Canadian Subtropics we had to pack up the apartment and I moved to the North Country. I'm now living on a mountain top in my new lair, laughing like a maniacal evil villain as I gaze down in to Whoville.

So what's your excuse?

Holy Effing Wedding, Batman!

2011-04-17T12:11:00.007-05:00

Wow, yeah, so... hey. Um, I'm getting married! I suppose you want to know details. Let's see. So.

Well, about 14 years ago I met Trevor and it was love at first sight... for me. Also, envy at first sight, what with him already being secured to one of my sorority sisters. Whoops! But I loved him, very quietly and secretly, all through college. After college--and after their break-up--we very nearly got together; but owing to an undiagnosed inner ear condition and a night that involved too much alcohol, I was forced to cancel a lunch date that could have rewritten the last ten years. However, truly believing that everything happens for a reason, we choose to avoid the what ifs.

I went on to grad school(s) and he went on to get married and have two gorgeous children. When we reconnected at our 10 year college reunion, he was still married and I was getting ready to start a job as a professor; but, when we first saw each other after all those years, the hug we exchanged spoke volumes about how much we had missed and how much we had meant to each other. After he separated from his wife and started the divorce process, we reconnected again (ah, Facebook, you wonderful, conniving whore) and began exchanging harmless messages, catching up on the years that we'd spent apart and consoling one another through difficult times. He came to visit in January of 2010 and we spent the weekend drinking coffee and talking; nothing more. Stronger feelings developed from there, and when he visited again the weekend of March 5th, he came with intentions. At 2:00 a.m. March 7, 2010, Trevor told me he loved me and I told him that I had loved him for 14 years. By June of last year, we knew where this was headed.

It has been an amazing year+ and the girl who never, ever thought she'd find someone she could love with all of her heart has found someone she loves even more than that. From the outside looking in, people would say we're disgusting and saccharine, but from where we stand, we don't have the words to describe accurately just how much we love one another. I thought Jane Austen wrote fairy tales, but I'd put the love I share with Trevor up against any of her fictional couples any day of the week.

On April 1, 2011 (leave it to Trevor to pick April Fools' Day!), I came out of my faculty meeting and was met by Trevor and my dog Brandon. I knew Trevor was coming for the weekend and had been texting him throughout the faculty meeting. Trevor suggested we take a little walk down by the lake, and so we did. I didn't get suspicious until he said we should go into the boathouse and out on the dock... then, I admit, I began to wonder. Out on the dock, he got down on one knee and proposed. Me being me, I got pretty emotional.

How I'm going to get down that aisle without streams of mascara and eyeliner going down my cheeks and making me resemble a member of the KISS Army, I just don't know.

But I (obviously) said yes.

We hugged and kissed, the ring was put on my finger, and we started to proceed back up the dock and through the boathouse. At that point, I thought we were headed home to... um... be at home. But instead he wanted me to walk up beside the boathouse... I was completely lost as to what was happening... and then he opened the door to the indoor area of the boathouse. There, in front of me, stood a group of my students and a number of my colleagues. The students had decorated the whole place with lights and flowers and candles and balloons; set up buckets full of wine, beer, champagne, and pop; had placed cakes and food on another table... it was insane and completely unexpected. I immediately collapsed on the floor in shock while they all laughed. After that, I was made to stand off to the side and wait as my students lined up and Trevor grabbed his guitar. Explaining that, at OWU, after a proposal all the Delt brothers would have gotten together to serenade me, Trevor said that he had arranged for something else... he and my students serenaded me, singing "Leather and Lace," by Stevie Nicks and Don Henley. Yes, it's corny, but man, did I cry! My girls, all standing there (some of them trying not to cry--we're sappy at this school; so much estrogen in one place) and singing something they had practiced over the course of the week. It was very touching. After that, Trevor sang a solo of our song, Over the Rhine's "Drunkard's Prayer."

I honestly cannot imagine a better proposal.

And so, I'm engaged! To the man I have loved the longest and to my very best friend. How I got so lucky, I don't quite know... but I could not imagine being any happier than I am right now or than I've been for over a year now. Now I just have to plan a wedding.

Oh wow... holy shit!

2011-04-16T12:08:00.001-05:00

Slackers

2011-04-16T00:35:00.003-05:00

We are suck fucking slackers.

New post soon...at least one of us has something to share........

Today I have bedazzled boobs!

2010-10-13T09:40:00.001-05:00

good to know before the holidays come along

2010-10-04T21:59:00.003-05:00

Created by Oatmeal

2010-10-04T20:25:00.000-05:00

In case you have ever wondered...

Created by Oatmeal

2010-09-26T00:55:00.000-05:00

What we did for Spring Break. Acted like twelve-year-olds putting on a play and forced the dog to be involved.

Lemonade

2010-09-12T13:47:00.001-05:00

Courtesy of the fine people at the Château where I spend my holidays.

In Which Boobarella Admits Her Ignorance

2010-09-07T14:40:00.001-05:00

What the devil is foursquare other than a way for me to know when my IT Puppy is not in the office and out having his time with strippers & blow? Seriously, I thought maybe in some drunken stupor I missed an election when some guy named @RexHuppke tweeted "I just became the mayor of Chicago on @foursquare!"

I'm going to start my own social networking thing-ma-jobby. And screw you I'm mayor of my office bitches.

In Which Calliope & Boobarealla Have a Difference of Opinion

2010-09-06T16:11:00.002-05:00

Not a scratching post.

When we last left Boobarella....

2010-09-05T15:41:00.007-05:00

Jenny's comments on the last entry made me realize that I may have forgot to share some things about what has been happening up here.

Chef got a job in the Great White North, slightly south of Valhalla and west of the Land of Ice & Snow.

Since we really couldn't pass up this opportunity for Chef and there were no jobs in South Manitoba for me, the other two pugs, cat and I remain in our lakeside apartment, 12 hours away. Chef & Mooch loaded up the car we just bought the week previous and headed north on a two-day adventure drive through the cheese forest and into the Lutheran stronghold of South Manitoba. And while they may have been enjoying some cool temperatures up north, I have all the furniture.

Anyway, hence the previous post on some of the world's saddest food. After having Chef here for the last, umm - how long have we been married? - 8 (9??) years cooking for me, I am out of practice. That and when he left, Chef took all the spices except the salt, pepper, and cinnamon.

He also left me a sticky bottle of rice vinegar. I don't even know what that is.

I had vowed not to buy any more meat until I ate all of what was in the freezer, but seriously I don't know what to make of half of it. The chicken was the first to disappear. That one was easy and yielded a few meals. The catfish...that was ok, but far too much for one person and when reheated it was like a fishy pudding mushy blech.

The ground pork was ruined by the world's saddest spaghetti sauce, and the lamb bits turned into a nice stir fry with the purple cabbage I found living in the fridge.

At least I hope that was a cabbage.

Needs Improvement.

2010-09-02T21:21:00.005-05:00

Bad bloggers! We have been terrible! We have this wonderful blog and what do we do? Ignore it and just treat it like a ginger kid.

Really there is no excuse.

Since I am now living the single life as Chef & Mooch have relocated to South Manitoba I am going to be blogging the hell out of things. First up, my horrific attempts at cooking.

The world's saddest spaghetti sauce

The world's saddest chicken pot pie

Recipe for a delicious dinner

Double Rainbow!!!!

2010-08-06T12:26:00.011-05:00

I think this is just so damn awesome. I wish I had days like this. I suppose I could, if I had the right connections. Seriously, you have to watch this all the way through. It will make you happy.

Original Double Rainbow video!!:

Original Double Rainbow video set to music!!:

PSSWR 2010: Virginana...

2010-04-10T16:19:00.007-05:00

It's ON, Sexybitches!!!

This is just a reminder that PSSWR 2010 is a GO... even if there are only three of us (Dr. Vixen, boobarella, and Jenny, as you see above), PSSWR is on. So, for all of you still interested, here are the details once more.

WHAT: Point-Something Sexybitches Winetastic Roadtrip (PSSWR) 2010

WHEN: Wednesday, May 26 to Sunday, May 30 (give or take as many days as you like, both before and after)

WHERE: Sweet Briar, Virginia... at the quaint little abode of Dr. Vixen... a place also known as the "Skanktuary"

WHO: Sponsored by the Midnight Margarita Girls

WHY: Because sometimes Sexybitches (of all ages) just need to congregate for a little Sexybitches time... kicking back, visiting wineries, eating good food, listening to good music, drinking good wine (etc.), playing ridiculously juvenile board games (Dream Phone, anyone?), and enjoying the conversation and camaraderie of like-minded awesome ladies. We can even go swimming down at the lake and, with any luck, have a private party there at the boathouse.

How to get here:

FLYING: If your distance from Virginana necessitates the use of winged metallic sky-beasts, there are several airport choices to look into as far as destination. Here they are, from closest to Sweet Briar to furthest:
Lynchburg (30 minutes away)
Charlottesville (1 hour)
Roanoke (1.5 hours)
Richmond (2.5 hours)

The Margarita Girls will make every effort to get you transported safely from whichever airport you use to the cozy comfort of Dr. Vixen's Skanktuary Retreat. If you would like to coordinate with other fliers, please post in the comments section below. I also hereby encourage Jenny and boobarella to post there arrival/departure information in the comments, as well, so people can have some sense of when and where others are arriving via plane.

DRIVING: Whether you're using the Googles, MapQuest, YahooMaps, or your own GPS system (like my own dear, beloved "Mandy" Tom-Tom), your destination is, quite simply, SWEET BRIAR, VIRGINIA. There is only one and giving you a street address will do you no good whatsoever. Once you get to the campus itself, I will be able to direct you more appropriately to the Skanktuary. This is a small place... I really doubt you'll get lost.

Sweet Briar is located approximately one hour south of Charlottesville, in Central Virginia, and approximately thirty minutes north of Lynchburg. The local highway is 29; the closest major highway is 81.

Please RSVP in the comments section below ASAP so we can begin the planning process. All you will need to bring with you is whatever you'll need in the way of clothes, toiletries, and other accoutrements... Linens (sheets, pillows, towels) are STRONGLY encouraged and, especially for anyone driving, inflatable mattresses might be a good idea. One way or another, we will do our best to make sure everyone is comfortably taken care of.

Colonel Brandon wants to meet you...

..and Cedric is eagerly anticipating your arrival...

We truly hope to see you in May! Seriously... you know you need to get away for a little mental health time. Why not spend it with similarly crazy people? And in some of the most beautiful country you have ever seen...

Happy Easter!

2010-04-04T10:15:00.002-05:00

And lo, Jesus came to his followers and said 'have you guys tried this bacon stuff?'

'No our lord, for it is not kosher.'

'Yeah, you guys might want to get on this, it's really great..."

Thanks to Aunt Becky for finally making cards for all of us to enjoy!

Cooking with Jenny

2010-03-16T22:14:00.000-05:00

I'm the Responsible One in this Relationship

2010-03-03T13:41:00.002-06:00

So there I was last week minding my own business when my mother called me. "Your Grandmother is moving to Virginia next week and she has some furniture for you if you can drive down to Arizona and pick it up." Well, being short notice and all I thought we pulled it together rather quickly, however, the "furniture" became just a bookcase the more my Aunt got involved (because clearly she wanted anything she could get her hands on and I'm not really sure why I got earmarked a bookcase, but I'm really happy I did). Anyway, I drove over to Hayward to pick up Mr. Fix-it after loading up the car all by myself. I even managed to get there on time. Once there, I had to wait 2 hours for him to stop talking to people and get his rear end out the door. It seems like everyone wanted to tell us just exactly how to get to Tuscan from San Francisco. Fortunately we did take the way I had pointed out to him otherwise we would have arrived even later than expected. But we still didn't leave until 5pm (much like the trips we took as a child because my father couldn't get out the door on time either).

The first day of driving was uneventful. We stopped at Andersen's pea soup kitchen. I hate
Andersen's pea soup. It's flavorless and flavorless, but I ordered it anyway, because apparently I like to torchure myself. And then I was asked to drive through the "Grapevine" which is the mountainous part of the highway in the rain and fog and through L.A. We arrived in Desert Palms at 2:30 am.

The next morning we got up a little late and were planning on having breakfast with one of Jim's co-workers who has a house down there. However, as both of them were working via their phones the am turned into pm and we finally went out to lunch. Which meant we didn't get to go to Joshua Tree Nat. Park and we would arrive in Green Valley at 8:30pm. We stopped in a place called Blythe, Ca for lunch. Okay, we stopped at a gas station that had a Quiznos as opposed to the McDonald's next door. Since we didn't actually get anything at Quiznos, getting nothing at McDonalds would have been just as good especially since they have highchairs and Quiznos doesn't. On our approach to Phoenix I noticed a sign pointing out an alternative route around the city bypassing traffic. Without a map it was difficult to determine if this information was true, but we finally figured it out, turned around and headed south as we were headed into rush hour anyway. So by the time we got to Green Valley it was 8:30 and all the restaurants in Green Valley close at 8pm because everyone in the city is pretty much over 55. So our choices were: Denny's and The Family Restaurant. We went to the Family Restaurant, which hadn't really improved since the last time we were there.

The next day was uneventful. I did get to move all our stuff from one room to another by myself, much like I got to unload the car by myself. My Grandmother did give us a leather lazyboy that had been my Grandfather's. My Aunt acted resentful toward us from that point on and began convincing my Grandmother that EVERYTHING she owned was going to fit in her new appartment that is half the size of her current one. Clearly she had an agenda.

The next day was the day we left. I had to get Mr. Fix-it to move his rear end and go get some moving blankets that took him over an hour to locate and then I had to help him move all the furniture. Then while he tied down the stuff in the back I loaded up the car. By myself. You notice a theme here? Then we drove to Tuscan to have lunch with Jenny and Rafael, because going back to Tuscan seems like a moot point now that my Grandmother is moving. By the time we got to Phoenix I was seriously regretting not going to Tubac to look at Indian pottery so Mr. Fix-it found a place in Phoenix to go to and then said and I quote "It's 10 miles out of the way, I'd rather we not go." and I said, and I quote "I still want to go and you need to get some gas before leaving Phoenix" You could hear the crickets in the car. Needless to say we didn't go. I went to sleep angry and was woken up 45 minutes later to this "Um, honey, there hasn't been a gas station in 35 miles and I'm almost out. The GPS says there isn't any gas for another 40 miles. I'm going to pull over here at this (desolate) exit while I still have some and call AAA. Only I have to use your card because I've exceeded my limit for the year already and my phone isn't working so I have to use yours." Crickets again. When I pointed out that I had told him to get gas he responded he thought there'd be another station further up. When I asked why we were stopping here while we still had some gas he said it was safer. So when the AAA guy showed up in the pouring rain and said there was a gas station 8 miles up the road I could have pushed someone out of the car. And since we wasted an hour in the rain, on the side of the road, clearly we had had time for me to look at Indian pottery. By the time we got to Desert Palms it was late and we were forced to eat a Pizza Hut.

The next day we drove back to Joshua Tree and wound our way through the park. We ate dinner at Denny's because they were open and I was asked to drive the 10:30-3am shift home. The worst part of which was the pansy that cut in front of me on the Bay Bridge and had the nerve to go under the speed limit on the new S curve. Clearly he didn't know I was from West Michigan and could have done such an easy curve in my sleep. Bunch of California wusses!

And so you have it. My account of driving to Tuscan, Az. And how somebody, not me, ran out of gas on the highway, in the middle of the desert with his wife and baby in the car in a rain storm.

Olympic Sized Diseases

2010-02-28T22:15:00.001-06:00

After two straight weeks of superior athletic competition and superior athletic costuming, I have to confess that I was unfamiliar with some of the terms/names used in the games and assumed that they were terrible diseases that some of the athletes were afflicted with.

- Mancuso: "I was diagnosed with Mancuso today; I have 5 months."

- Quebec Pop: "He gave me Quebec Pop"

"Maybe you shouldn't have slept with that lumberjack."

- Giant Slalom: "Taking this pill may cause constipation, giant slalom, and a yellowing of the skin..."

- Hack Foot: "Did you hear about Steve? He has Hack Foot."

"Maybe he shouldn't have slept with that lumberjack."

- Burning Stone: "Eating at Taco Bell gave me a Burning Stone."

- Dry Slope: "Don't be embarrassed Honey, every woman experiences Dry Slope at one or another."

Happy Valentines Day

2010-02-14T19:16:00.004-06:00

Wil Wheaton said I should pay it forward.

2010-02-05T15:01:00.000-06:00

Enjoy!

The State of the Union I wish I had heard tonight.

2010-01-27T21:44:00.004-06:00

Thank you very much. Ladies & Gentlemen of the House, Senate, Joint Chiefs, Madam Speaker, distinguished guests, Joe, and people of the United States

Wow. So shit got real, really fast this year didn't it? We have no money, poor job growth, still no health care, Haiti is wrecked, etc etc etc. Did anyone have a good year?

Look, let's cut the bullshit. Seriously, we need to try to fix this, and do it now. Blah blah blah we're going to have to act now. I know you've already heard this all and it's probably of no help or piece of mind to see the members of this administration and your elected officials bickering on TV, online, and in print.

So here's my plan..think of it like my version of the Fourteen Points.

I'll wait while you all go look that up on Wikipedia.

We got it? You all good? Good. Like I said, here's my plan:

1) Both parties; cut the shit. I mean really. I, dare I say we the people, have had enough. This kind of relationship is ineffective to both business & government. Yes a Republican is now in Ted Kennedy's seat. Big deal. No offense to Ted, God bless him, but we all knew it might happen. And really the party of the person elected shouldn't matter because they were elected by the constituents of Massachusetts and Mr. Brown will come to D.C. to represent them. That is what he was elected to do. That was what we were all elected to do: to represent the people & their concerns. Mr. Brown represents a portion of the people in Massachusetts that felt he would bring their needs, wants, and desires to DC and he will keep those in mind while working on helping to move our great country forward. Mr. Brown will do the same thing that John Kerry, Henry Reid, Mitch McConnell, and John Barrasso are doing now.

You're all looking up Barrasso now aren't you? WY-R.

But grow up. Both parties. GROW UP. You were elected by people who some of you manipulated by fear and hate to get here. That has got to stop. Stop glaring at me. You know who you are. joe......

2) Taxes: I'm not cutting a damned thing. Not one cent. You know why? Because…boo all you want asshole…because you cannot get ANYTHING done in the country in this day & age w/o money. I'm sorry. Who do you think paves your roads and where do you think that money comes from? Hey Michigan! You want I-94 outside of Detroit fixed? Then We're going to tax the shit out of cigarettes so we can give money to the state so they can fix the damed road. You want health care? You want the troops to come home? You want to fix New Orleans? Cure cancer? Helllloooooooo taxes! Sorry boys & girls, but if you don't want to your future on hold we gotta pay the piper. We have been spending like drunk girls in a mall with dad's credit card. It's ridiculous.

It's a simple formula I am "proposing": the more you make (be it as an individual or corporation) the more you pay. Simple, clear, concise. If you make more you pay more. Oh and GE, GM, Ford, Bank of America? I'm taxing the shit out of those bonuses.

3) Jobs: funk yeah we need to get people working. More people working means more money coming in to us in taxes and more shit gets fixed. And the more money we bring in the more industries can grow and the more people we get working which brings in more money…do you all see this is a terrible cycle? More jobs. Yes we need them. But I can't just sign a document and *poof!* jobs appear. That I tell you we need more jobs and I'm going to help and in 2 months you're whining that "we still have no jooooooobs and it's all Obama's fault" is utter bull shit. The more we put money in to new forms of energy the more jobs we create in those fields and in the education of those fields. Now I can't help the Literature or History academics with that one, but come on give me a break. Who still does that as a job?

4) Health Care: Christ this should have been the easy one. What the hell is wrong with you people? IF WE HAVE PEOPLE WITH NO ACCESS TO HEALTH CARE THEN WE HAVE A TON OF PEOPLE WHO CAN'T GET BETTER AND AND WILL DIE! You there, when I say we're going to do this we're going to do this so stand up & clap. Say what you will, but denying to help people who are sick doesn't seem very "Christian" as you profess to be. Put aside your petty differences and lets hammer this out. One of you has to understand basic project management. If you don't someone go get one of those damned lobbyists. At least they can finally be useful for something other than buying that douche over there a new pool & some hookers. Anyway get a project manager and you have 30 days to get a decent plan to me. Also, if there isn't at least one PRACTICING M.D. and three RN's helping you on this project I will not even look at it. Don't any of you know that Gupta guy from CNN? Dr. Phil even?

Seriously, you have 30 days.

Oh and crazy old man from that video..Medicare is run by the government, so no I won't keep my hands out of thank you every much.

5) Student Loans: now there's a Ponzi Scheme if I ever saw one. But hey that's fine. Here's the thing, the pay back is crazy. So we're knocking it down and if you go to work for the Red Cross or some other Non-for Profit we'll cancel your debt. And by that I mean a legit one. Not ACORN. That was crazy wasn't it?

6) Affordable Child Care: I'm sorry why is this on my agenda? States - this one is all yours.

7) The War(s): Without naming names, this has been fully acknowledged as a huge fuck up. So now what? I know I know I said we would pull the troops out. We will. I wouldn't lie to all those West Point grads. Those kids have swords. But look, we really really messed up Iraq. I mean really. It was a bad move on America's part. And for that we're sorry. There is no Hallmark card for what we did there. So while we pull the troops out, Harvard University's departments of Politics, Economics, and Religion is in charge of putting that back together. You have 180 days to get that plan together and get it on my desk.

Why Harvard? Because their bid was the lowest. They're like academic contractors. See America, this is called "out sourcing." When you can't handle something on your own b/c it's just beyond your comprehension and there is someone or a group of someones out there than does have the skills you hire them to do it.

Afghanistan: how hard is it to find an old man in the mountains on dialysis???? We have our friends helping us, lets step that up.

8) The Economy: Christ. There is nothing good about this. Not a damned thing. No matter what I say you're going to get pissed. I can't curb too much spending b/c then shit won't get done. I can't increase spending b/c debt spending is a really bad idea (right home owners????). So see point 2. I'm taxing you. I'm going to do it you're going to hate it and yet we're going to live with it. We have to fix this huge debt. And you're right, Ben Bernanke has done a terrible job. I'm taking applications for that job. Closing date for applications is March 1, 2010. Please include with your Vita, 4 references and an 1000 word essay on your first steps in fixing this sinking ship.

9) You nine people in black robes - What the hell was that you did last week? Reversing that law was the single dumbest thing you have collectively in any iteration done. Do you have ANY idea what you have opened the door to? Remember how much we hate lobbyists? well sure you may have killed them, but now Phillip Morris, excuse me Altria, will actually become a Senator. wow, yeah, way to go on that one.

10) National Security: We're doing pretty good. We have some kinks to work out, TSA I'm looking at you, but over all I think we're safer now than we have been in years. There is no way we can predict what might happen next. But we can do our best to try. Homeland Security and the NSA are working on that. Thank god for the geeks, eh kids? That underpants terrorist guy? I'm tired of hearing about this. Yeah he got legal council. You know why? b/c he was on out turf and if any of you was in another country you would expect the same treatment. Do un to others…. You know, for a bunch of people who like to run around quoting the Bible you sure do forget quite a bit of the message.

11) Iran: Talk about nuts. That guy is wack-a-doodle. But here's the thing - he's one guy. Trust me he does not represent the thinking in that country nor does he represent Muslims. We're not bombing them we're not going after them. We just want to know what they are doing - Nuclear weapons or Nuclear Power? If it's power we may have something to learn from them. Weapons though…well then yes we'll have a problem. But I want proof before we start screaming about killing them.

12) North Korea: yeah. Not a threat. He's definitely crazy, but they have less money than we do. Heck they may have less money than Haiti at this point.

Hey China, N. Korea is all yours to take care of. We bigger advanced countries have to work together and since we have to help out Haiti (Yes people I said we HAVE to help them) can you please go take a look at North Korea and see what is going on over there?

13) The Gay thing: Like Health Care, this should have been an easy one. And like Health Care we cannot deny people their human rights. Buck up haters and except them. They're here, they're queer, and they're getting married and moving in next door. So they don't mesh with your idolatry. How do you deal with others that don't? Do you make laws against them? Is that how our country should work? the country that has "give me your tired, your hungry. . ." on our front door? No. Those of us who came to this country willingly came here for a better life. Whether it be a Spanish conquistador searching for riches or English Puritans looking for a more tolerant religious climate, or one of the nameless faces that streamed through Ellis Island in the late 19th-early 20th century, all came here for a better life and the chance to be happy and to be true to themselves. So lets stop the name calling and the finger pointing and the Bible quoting and remember you're an American and that we're all here for freedom and the pursuit of happiness, and let everyone do just that no matter who they are.

14) You didn't think I would carry through did you? Look, we have a great country. We need to get back on track, We used to be a great big innovative country, but since 9-11 we have become scared and introspective. We need to expand out work on alternative energy and helping the environment. No Global warming isn't a lie. I know in February when it's 10 degrees and snowing in Pueblo, NM it's hard to believe but it's true. If we had more time I would have Al Gore come on TV & show you. But really this is something we need to work on. Obviously there will be wear & tear on the plant. There are billions of people living here. But what we need to do is to not let it get worse. We have to work to be responsible land owners.

One more thing. I'm starting a national book club. For the next 6 months we'll be reading and discussing John Stuart Mills's "On Liberty." I'll have the first set of discussion questions on the White House web page next week. Our book club will feature a guest blogger for each month. This month the discussion blog will be run and moderated by Ken Burns.

Thank you, god bless you, and god bless the United States of America

Epiphany

2010-01-25T22:24:00.002-06:00

In the wee early morning hours on the train this morning I had an epiphany.

Rihanna likes Phil Collins.

Case in point:

and

The bridge is the most telling part. Who doesn't love those drums?

Dr. Vixen's Video from Brigadoon

2010-01-15T14:40:00.002-06:00

When boobarella asked me, "Did you see the 'Single Ladies'/Mayberry mash up?" I replied,

"No. I live it."

Desperately Needing PSSWR 2010

2010-01-09T11:58:00.006-06:00

(Yes, that IS Thomas Jefferson with a bottle of Virginia wine.)

Dr. V has, admittedly, been checked-out of things for awhile now. The "big-girl" job (as boobarella calls it) has kept me busy and has left me feeling conflicted... simultaneously happy and miserable. My mother once said that, like our grandfather, most of the children in our family aren't satisfied unless we're chasing a rainbow. Not only have I found the end of my rainbow, but I've discovered that it ends at a rural Walmart (quite literally, though that's a meteorological story for another time). I've been trying to think of another rainbow to chase, but God only knows the next one will end at a Sam's Club and I will hang myself from the nearest Tractor Supply store.

There are things about rural life that I absolutely adore, but the frequent loneliness and boredom caused by my isolated location tires me out sometimes... not to mention that I tend to suffer from an inability to focus on my research when I feel so damn tired and alone. I've nearly succumbed to an inexplicable desire to read young adult literature on multiple occasions and I'm not sure I can keep "Twilight"s beckoning ridiculousness at bay much longer. Which is why I decided that it's time to remind you all of the event I gratefully look forward to more with each passing day.

PSSWR 2010: Virginana (May 26-whenever).

Now is the time, ladies, to consider booking your plane tickets. Whether you fly into Lynchburg, Charlottesville, or Richmond, we will find a way to make arrangements for your transport from the airport to Brigadoon. Several of my colleagues know of and are enthusiastically anticipating your arrival, and I'm hoping to have purchased my king-cab pick-up truck by then (the better to haul you all around with). I'll be reserving the boathouse for a Friday night party and it's possible that we'll be able to occupy two living spaces on campus (if one of my friends is out of town, she's offered her house to us). It is also possible that one of my students will be living across the street from and working on a project with me for part of the summer, but if that's the case, it just means we'll have a wine minion.

I'm kidding.

Sort of.

But a Pool Boy would certainly be nice, if one of you could arrange for one.

And I'm not kidding.

Anyway... so, who is definitely in and how shall we begin the travel planning? Honestly, I wish you were all coming yesterday.

BIRTHDAYS!!!

2010-01-09T11:46:00.004-06:00

They were your birthdays! They were your birthdays! What great days they were for your birthdays! BOCK, BOCK, BOCK!!!

To Samantha and boobarella... I am so friggin' far behind on things... But I love you both, desperately.

2010-01-08T11:05:00.000-06:00

Baby Envy and Toy Confusion or A Tale of Woe by Three Dachshunds

2010-01-04T12:47:00.002-06:00

I realize it's been ages since I actually posted anything, but to be honest I haven't actually ridden Muni in almost 9 months now. Don't get me wrong, just because I'm not riding the Muni doesn't mean I don't have issues, it's just they aren't all that impressive anymore. So on to the story!

We actually thought my mom's dog Gunther was going to have issue with the new baby, due to his past before he was rescued, but by all accounts he was quite content lurking beneith the high chair waiting for the teething biscuits to drop. The dog with the actual issue was Reggie. She was mortified that we brought something so cute and helpless into her house. She barked and growled and showed signs of great distress when we fed M with a spoon. Jealosy quickly rose up. "What is this?" thought Reggie, "a new Princess? Off with her head!" To make matters worse M got more dresses than Reggie for christmas, had nicer toys, and had a bigger crate (playpen). Someone was not happy and spent most of her time barking at the new Princess in her "crate" playing with all her toys. It was certainly quieter when we returned home.

When we returned home Clifford had no issues. He didn't even bat an eye lash when M scootched across the floor on her rear to his toy basket and pulled out all the dog toys and began to play with them. The only toy confusion on Clifford's part was when a Great Uncle gave M a "Tickle Me Elmo" doll. M loved it, Clifford thought it was great and there has been much sharing of the Elmo doll. Elmo starts in the living room, ends up in the dining room, back to the nursry, back to the dining room. Elmo in his few short hours with us has seen a lot of the house. He now resides on the dining room table. No wonder he was the "IT" toy when he first came out! But that's the thing about baby toys, they are not all that much different than dog toys. They are both plush, usually have a squeeker or mechanical thing inside them, and are roughly the same size. Go figure. Though this doesn't quite explain my daughter's facination, despite my opposition, with the raw hide chew toys on the floor. Perhaps it's a teething thing. But again, Clifford is willing to share despite it all.

Obligatory Year End Blog Post

2009-12-31T22:42:00.001-06:00

Everyone else was doing a year end post and I thought OMG WE need an year end post! But about what? The newest addition born out in CA, about Jenny's boy becoming one of us (goople gopple), about Wingal getting a big girl job, about Mooch's wenis, about Bully Hill sending me a note b/c they hadn't heard from me in a while and were getting worried, about the planning of the upcoming PSSWR '10.

Decisions, decisions.

Then the internets gave me something that reminded me of new beginnings, of finding old friendships and making them new again, about treasuing your bestest buds forever...

That's right, Ann M. Martin is writing new Baby Sitters Club books.

Happy New Years, Ladies. Much love to all of you and here's hoping we all get to get our Claudia on.

You can thank me later

2009-12-29T12:24:00.001-06:00

All Hail!!!

Mother of Hell

2009-12-13T23:01:00.005-06:00

Done.

I am fucking done.

Now here's hoping that 11 and a half pages counts as 12 pages....I mean who says 1.5 spacing and not double space. That is ludicrous, and not the fun kind. I mean jesus. Part of it's my fault: silly me picked the one archive with no preservation issues.

So I'm now done, turned it in and I have some things I need to post before I get backt o regular posting which I will do with a vengeance now that I have nothing else to keep my attention.

Okay thing 1 - from Twitter:

#2) from Amazon.com: gourmet shake n' bake, y'all!

#3) THE MOST BESTEST XMAS GIFTS EVER:

5lbs of Mellowcreme pumpkins IN DECEMBER.

Jenn & Mark are awesome.

I would show you the kick ass bacon we got too, but we already did some damage on that beast.

it's your birthday, Laura!

2009-12-06T13:57:00.004-06:00

2009-12-01T12:39:00.001-06:00

Sandra Lee can suck it.

2009-11-28T22:14:00.003-06:00

Semi Homemade my ass! I opened a can of pie filling, dumped it in a frozen shell, covered it with the other frozen shell, put it in the oven for 20 mins, and covered it with Cool Whip.

The only thing "home made" about this pie is the fact that I did it in my own kitchen.

Get off my back already!

2009-11-10T15:52:00.000-06:00

I know I know I know! It's been about a month since the video went up and we have yet to name a winner! Dr. V. & I are working on it, but jobby-jobs and real life got in the way. Besides, do you know how hard it is to sing all those suggestions??

contest,you suck,I'm busy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNY, Pt. II

2009-10-11T00:02:00.004-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNY

2009-10-10T17:09:00.003-05:00

RAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRR!

Defending my shitty music

2009-09-30T22:19:00.003-05:00

I was doing some homework tonight, it's all I really do these days, and listening to my shitty music on random. Mandy Moore followed Joni Mitchell and I was dumbfounded how much alike they sound.

Fashion 101

2009-09-25T10:48:00.004-05:00

These jeans are too tight

These are muumuus.

Pants being too tight is not fashionable, it means your pants are too tight.

House dresses are called house dresses b/c they are meant to be worn IN THE HOUSE.

Thank you.

2009-09-17T21:11:00.000-05:00

IT'S MELLOWCREME PUMPKIN TIME!!

My favorite moment from last night's speach

2009-09-10T16:49:00.001-05:00

This was the best look of "what/who the fuck was that" I have ever seen. And it's done in triplicate like any good government form would be.

This one time at band camp....

2009-08-27T21:29:00.002-05:00

On the train this morning my unpredictable ipod gave me a Tori Amos retrospective.

Once upon a time, I went to band camp. That's what you do when you're 17 and play bassoon. Being a bassoonist at band camp meant nothing fun happens b/c you form a click with the other people who play your instrument and bassoonists are all very smart and boring people. We tend to hang out with the viola players and bass clarinetists, who like us, have taken up an unconventional instrument that colleges drool over, and not with those crazy oversexed flautists who are a dime a dozen.

I met some really great & fun people there. One of them was a camp counselor who was working on her BFA in Music from Ithaca College. In fact it was because of her 5 people, including myself, from the bassoon studio eventually went to IC. But, one of the viola players we hung out with was my roommate Jennifer. I don't remember her last name, but she was a short thin thing from downstate with huge frizzy hair. Jen wanted to learn how to play piano while we were there (we all had the opportunity to try something new, I chose the oboe, one of the percussionists chose the skin flute) and decided she was going to learn with a Tori Amos song. I had never heard of Tori. Upstate NY was still in the grips of grunge and metal. I was a Nirvana fan and a devoted follower of the Church of Vedder. But by the time I left Potsdam two weeks later I knew every word, moan, and bridge to every song on both Little Earthquakes and Under the Pink. I lost touch with Jen a long time ago, but I have still bought or burned all of Tori's albums as well as many bootlegs as I could get my hands on. In fact, I also have to date my adoration of covers to this. I had a tape of a concert in Berlin that has Tori singing "Summertime" from Porgy & Bess. That bootleg is the reason I have an a cappella version of "Baby Got Back."

So, Jen, wherever you are, thank you. Thank you for introducing me to an artist that has fundamentally shaped my tastes in music.

Spam from Ralph Wiggum

2009-08-24T15:01:00.000-05:00

I got some awesome spam today-

Subject: Magic berry that will make you look like a princes

Make me look like a princes? I will look like two dudes?

Or will I look like two Princes?

Because if that is what happens if I eated the magic berries, these should be outlawed. That is too much hot n' sexy for any one (or dual persona) to handle.

It Takes a Medieval Village.

2009-08-23T15:09:00.008-05:00

While cleaning the house today, I started a pile of all the things that I either needed fixed and a list of things I need to buy more of.

I have three pairs of shoes that either have holes that need to be re-sewn on the side or have their soles replaced. I need to find a cobbler. Do I get one near home? Near the office? I don't know we did some googling that lead me to also realize I need a manicure and while I'm at it on self improvement my roots are past showing and have ventured in to plain silly looking.

Okay, I need a cobbler and a beautician.

But then I moved in to the closet to pull out one of the pairs of shoes that need fixing and I came across four pairs of pants that I HAVE NEVER WORN b/c I need them to be altered. See I bear the cross of being both fat AND short. Not many places, save OldNavy.com (b/c who wants us in the store??) and Lane Bryant have a rack for fat&short. Okay, fine, but now I need a tailor.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, and a tailor.

I got, as Dr. V got to see, an enormous amount of "new to me" jewelry when my mother passed away last year. I really haven't gone through most of it other than to put some of the more special and antique pieces in a lockbox (right next to the internet). When I was at the beach house this past week I picked up some more to add to the pile. While putting everything away I realized I have a number of silver pendants that need to have that ring the chain goes through soldered and a few rings and earrings that I want to have cleaned/appraised. I'll have to head down to jewelers row ....

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, and a jeweler.

I like fun artisanal soaps. I love the way they smell and feel. I don't know why, but I feel cleaner when I can feel the green tea or bay rum, or flax seeds in my soap.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, and soap maker.

My big stinking candles that help keep my house from smelling like Mooch's bunghole are almost gone, I know that Yankee Candle is having a sale, but I don't want to pay for shipping. I'm getting cheap in my old age.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, a soap maker, and a candle stick maker.

Chef is out of yeast, which is a bummer b/c I was hoping for some fresh bread. I love the smell and the taste and it has been so cool here the last two days that a nice warm soup (I have a hankering for clam chowder) and some fresh bread would hit the spot.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, a soap maker, a candle stick maker, and a baker.

Oh shit, now that I look I have no wine.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, a soap maker, a candle stick maker, a baker, and a wine monger.

I just found 3 watched w/ dead batteries, and one that needs a few extra links put in before my afore mentioned fat wrist can wear it.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, a soap maker, a candle stick maker, a baker, a wine monger, and a watch maker.

I need a medieval village. A medieval village would have ALL of these things. And they would all be near the money lender and all near the town square and Ye Olde Starbucks. So I could get it all bought and done and get my gossip in with the fishmonger's wife and head home before my husband returns from the fields.

Or, I could just get a car and head to Walmart.

PSSWR 2010: Virginana

2009-08-14T20:30:00.009-05:00

The preliminary email has been sent out to the core group--from which the spider-web of invites will spring forth--but, as the official hostess (for this venture the Head Hostess of the Margarita Girls Four), I thought I should be the one to make the web announcement that we will be having our Point-Something Sexybitches Winetastic Roadtrip (PSSWR) at my little Sanctuary in Virginia, May 26 to WHENEVER (but we'll say 30th), 2010.

(Though the place will be better titled "The Skanktuary" while you all are here, I have no doubt.)

The point of the "Point-Something"ness of our title is quite simple: the whole thing should be viewed as a collective birthday party... whether you'll be 33.468 like me (yes, I did the math) or some other point-something, the idea is that we get to celebrate life with a bunch of our girlfriends in a way we might not really get to celebrate it on our actual birthdays. And the Sexybitches part and Winetastic part and Roadtrip part... they each speak for themselves.

REASONS TO COME:

It's really damn pretty. Within a short walk of the Sanctuary you can see this lovely path (about a five-minute walk from my door) [and my thanks to Jess McCormick for most of the following pics];

...this first pond (about a ten-minute walk), where the sunsets are beautiful and lots of people go fishing;

...this second pond (about a fifteen-minute walk), where we can go swimming, canoeing, etc.;

...gorgeous flowering trees all over campus (lots of magnolias, too, though they're not in bloom yet and so aren't nearly as pretty as the ones pictured below);

...and one hell of a sunset. This is a nice 40-minute walk from my place and is right over by the paddocks for the horses. I was just there the other night at sunset and had the opportunity to pet a few horses and see at least a dozen deer as dusk fell on my lovely new home.

Off-campus, we can drive out to any one of the many wineries in the area. And though Mandy, my GPS-bitch, may get us lost once or twice (KERBOPPLETOP!), the views are worth the travel mishaps:

Also, on-site entertainment will be provided:

In other words, there are lots of amazing, relaxing, fun, and memorable reasons to come, so SAVE THE DATES!!!!

MAY 26-30, 2010

The airports to consider flying into are as follows (from closest to furthest): Lynchburg, VA (30 min); Charlottesville, VA (50 min); and Richmond, VA (about 3 hours... I know, I know...). Travel details, airport shuttling, and carpooling opportunities can be discussed further when we get nearer to the time of PSSWR and have some sense of how many and which women are attending. Please RSVP one of the Margarita Girls or post a comment!

We want you to come and we know you want to come. So, GET HERE!

I know that I won't be happy unless I have a Bevy of Bitches in Brigadoon...

Wingal Out

My View. . .if the door is open

2009-07-30T16:12:00.002-05:00

North Korean Beer Ad.

2009-07-03T10:09:00.003-05:00

I don't get much time to listen to the news. Living in fake time, the news is over with by the time I get home. But today I have the day off thanks to a bunch of heathens writing a piece on freedom & shoving it in the face of some guys who tried to govern a large landmass and its people before the googles existed, so I got to listen to the news on NPR.

BBC did a short piece on North Korea and their first beer ad. Understandably I had to go find this ad. It is more a beer plant tourism ad then anything and the music made me happy! And the ad says that the Pride of Pyongyang will "help ease stress."

YAY BEER!

"an inbred hillbilly with knife skills."

2009-07-01T13:36:00.001-05:00

A hilarious open letter to James Thatcher, Brand Manager, Proctor & Gamble.

2009-06-23T21:01:00.001-05:00

Speaking of...

2009-06-16T08:18:00.004-05:00

Boob Emancipation!

housekeeping

2009-06-15T21:26:00.002-05:00

So... I was looking at Ye Olde Bloge today and I think I'm gonna chance it up a bit. All the wasted space on the left and right bugs the shit out of me when I'm being a bad employee and playing with the blog on my huge ass screen at work. I promise to keep the same feel (plenty of wine, my boobs, and general debauchery) and same general color scheme.

Thus, any concerns or requests or demands? Please have them in by 7pm on Friday 6/19/09.

xoxo

me.

STOP!

2009-06-12T20:20:00.000-05:00

Mormon Time!

For Wingal

2009-06-12T14:55:00.002-05:00

I think you might need to do this with one of your many closets at the new skanktuary.

How to convert a closet into a mini wine cellar - More DIY How To Projects

A few things

2009-06-10T19:31:00.007-05:00

See the post below? It's the pre-party for the BlogHer conference here in Chicago. You have a months notice. Come as you are baby.

See the banner on the right? Donate to save "Paste" an awesome music magazine. Donate and get 70 140+ free downloads. All sorts of musicians and kinds of music!! Rare cuts!! Including a live cut of Over the Rhine doing "Love Hurts."

2009-06-08T23:36:00.001-05:00

GPS

2009-06-04T19:44:00.001-05:00

PSSWR: Deliverance... Wednesday's Quotes

2009-06-04T00:18:00.004-05:00

"I paid for my whore... I flew her in, I put her up, I'm gonna feed her ass... she is MINE." - Wingal re: boobarella

"He's a tool. He's an awl. You know... one of those tools everyone has but nobody knows what it's for?" - boobarella

"Then we can turn her on and take her back to the motel." - re: Mandy the Tom-Tom voice

"You know you want to belong to the Church of Fried Chicken." - Wingal
"Yes... because the offering comes in Crispy or Original Recipe." - boobarella

"I'm just a tubby white girl from Upstate New York with no rhythm and who can apparently kill Mothra." - boobarella
"That should be on your resume." - Wingal

"If I get on-campus housing, you are NOT peeing in the woods... you're gonna use indoor plumbing and you're gonna like it." - Wingal

Seen Near Lynchburg:

That's right... it's a shirtless guy driving a riding lawnmower with a trailer holding a wheelchair. On a main thoroughfare. Welcome home, Wingal... welcome home.

PSSWR: Deliverance... Tuesday's Quotes

2009-06-02T21:24:00.006-05:00

During the Drive and at the Inn:

"Boobarella... Do you have to pee?" - improvised Tom-Tom voice

"Ooo, Perkins... they have Mammoth Muffins." - Wingal
"So do I." - boobarella

"I've got sugar between my thighs!" - Wingal

"Am I gonna let you lean over me, put your tits in my face, and move it? NO!" - boobarella to Wingal

"I love how there are crackers and wrappers all over the floor." - boobarella
"Crackers and Rappers?" - Wingal

"Hey, I can swallow it... it's not a taste issue, it's a texture issue." - Wingal (on pasta)

Pre-Drive Texting about Tom-Tom voices:

"The voice is Mandy. Dave sounded like a smug bastard" - Wingal
"I want to hear Dave b/c he might be good if we are men bashing." - boobarella
"There's also a voice named Dick... er, Richard." - Wingal
"Dick! Yes!" - boobarella
"He's very computery." - Wingal
"Blah, I want Ricardo Montalban." - boobarella
"That might cause lots of accidents for, um, distracted female drivers." - Wingal
"Can you imagine: 'my darling, take a left in about, say, 300 feet." - boobarella
**drives off road** - Wingal
"'My darling, you seemed to have changed routes, let me recalculate for you while you regain your composure.'" - boobarella

googles

2009-05-24T22:22:00.004-05:00

I have a cold

doo doo da doo

Drinking vodka b/c I have no cough medicine

doo doo da doo

no healthy food!

doo doo da doo

but I do have a lime in my drink

doo beep bop poo dow

French toast for dinner!

w00t!

Seriously I googles "french toast & vodka" and that was the picture I got.

PSSWR: Appalachia

2009-05-22T22:32:00.003-05:00

Wingal & Boobarella will be heading through West Virginia and western Virginia, June 2-6. PSSWR Appalachia will feature angry driving music and some homemade wine. Along the way we may find Wingal a new skanktuary to call home.

It's not too late to sign up for this exciting adventure! Want to come along? Meet us at "baggage claim"

June 2, 9:30am.

Star Trek

2009-05-16T22:57:00.006-05:00

Excuse me a moment while I wax poetic about Star Trek

There are few sounds in this universe that illicit an emotional response from me like that of the dulcet opening tones of a lone french horn. Like the familiar smells of a mother's home cooking, those were the sounds that welcomed us back to the 23rd century.

It is a different cast; this is not your mom's James T. Kirk. Christopher Pine has that rash quickness that the Shatner/Kirk of the original series did; not like the campy Kirk of movies 3-6. Pine kicked ass, took names, and nailed a green chick in minute 20. Truly, you watched him kick some ass in an IA bar and thought, yeah that would work and I would have still taken his bloody ass home and screwed him b/c he's Kirk and jesus who wouldn't hit that? Kirk is still very much King Arthur: dashing & rash yet able to save the world and instill faith in the empire.

They were all there: Sulu, Chechov, Uhura, Spock, Scotty, the ship's computer....Majel recorded it 2 weeks before she died. But Bones! OH! Now that was a character study. Part of the problem with doing a movie like this is we all over the old guys and know how they should sound and act. So you have these people stuck between recreating the characters but staying true to themselves and yet having to reflect what has been done and the styles of those before them. DeForest Kelley created the cantankerous old bastard, and Karl Urban did him a fine tribute.

But really, the best parts were the wee nuggets and inside jokes that the producers/director left in for the true fans. The guy in the red suit bites it just when he should, Sulu fencing, the Kobayashi Maru, and catch phrases galore.

Also, best use of Beastie Boys "Sabotage" in a movie. Ever.

Oh, and Spock gets some ass.

Packing

2009-05-06T21:57:00.003-05:00

Wingal had been terribly distracted when trying to pack for her trip to Kalamazoo. But imagine her surprise when she got to her hotel room and found that she had packed the entirely wrong Viking costume. . .

Happy May 5th

2009-05-05T20:07:00.004-05:00

I can't spell the holiday, and in order to keep Mexican-American relations at their current high state, I won't attempt to do it.

Thus:

Anyway, I wanted to tell you kids about my new toy! It's a Fast Dry Nail Color Pen! I'm a total girl! I painted my nails! But with a PEN!

I love this! Now granted I want to write all over the walls with is and sign my name on a pug butt á la Xavier Roberts, but I am holding back.

Just barely holding back....hey Fez...where are you going so fast.....

2009 Kentucky Derby

2009-05-02T13:13:00.002-05:00

While I finish getting dressed for the 135 running of the Kentucky Derby and the help finished making the canapés and pitchers of mint juleps (Merle's rule: no G&T's until Mother's Day - it's like the no white pants after Labor Day thing), I need to make my final picks for Show, Place, & Win.

Since the passing of my betting partner, Bob (he picked the Wins 4 yrs in a row, including the long shot Go to Gin) I have occasionally placed my bets on name alone. That paid off last year with "Big Brown," but I'm not being grabbed by "Papa Clem" or "Mine That Bird," or "Advice." "Friesan Fire" is a maybe, but the jockey's jersey is boring though he has some of the better odds (13/2) in the pack. "Desert Party" looks good too; he's from the UAE and owned by Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al Maktoum, the United Arab Emirates Vice President, Prime Minister and Ruler of Dubai. And at 20/1 the pay out would be nice.

LOL! Listen to me! This is hysterical! Really I'll maybe bet $5 and I'll be standing on the couch yelling with a beer in my hand and a whole different kind of vagina hat on my head.

Narcotics + Pug = hilarious

2009-05-02T00:35:00.005-05:00

Oddly this is a post about me and the vet and crazy drugs for one of the pugs that will in no way involve me mentioning Mooch's wenis.

That right there is a stoned Fezziwig. Poor guy woke up Saturday with a hacking cough that only got worse as the day went on. Since we had a cat that had a hacking cough then passed away, we were admittedly a tad more quick to take the pug to the pug hospital. After asking how Mooch was hanging these days, the vet checked out Fezzi and determined that it wasn't cancer causing him to cough. It could have been one of a few things, so she gave us a 'script for Clavamox (I am seriously considering buying stock in that company we have so much of that in the house) and for Torbutrol. Torbutrol, the vet told us, might cause my tubby love to be lethargic and drink a lot of water.

Lethargic was an understatement. That picture is of poor Fezzi after he got off the couch and looked around the room having obviously forgotten why he got down in the first place. We took him outside . . . he looked around and then up at me as if to ask "How did I get out here?" He spent two days looking like that kid form your high school history class that would occasionally interject with something from a lecture two weeks prior.

It probably wouldn't have been so bad if we had him take the pills with water instead of gin.

One of my perks

2009-04-19T22:16:00.003-05:00

If you think that the title of this posts means that it is yet another where I drone on about my boobs you're wrong! I'll do that one tomorrow if I have time.

I didn't really get a raise this year, and they're not paying for my internet during the conference (no really education company not paying for internet so I can do school work, go figure) but let me just give you peak at my amazing hotel room...

Green silk pillows. Along with the rest of the art deco decor in the room these are still really the center. Though I have a wing chair in the same color, the pillows really make the room. Tomorrow night after on my way up to the room I plan to stop at the bar downstairs and get a far too expensive drink and lay on these pillows.

New Blog Up... Not at a Full Run Yet, Though

2009-04-17T16:40:00.002-05:00

Y'all... hey! You need to get used to that one, now that I'm moving South. Anyway...

Y'all... just wanted to let you know that the blog I've been planning on establishing is, officially, established. It won't go into full swing until Summer, after the move, but I may have a post or two to put up between now and then. And so, without further ado, I present you with:

Dr. V @ PBSG

The adventure is about to begin...

Meetin' time in the city.

2009-04-16T20:25:00.003-05:00

Time for the big meeting! Woo!! Nothing like 2 straight weeks of work with no break! I'm all packed and ready to go! See you crazy kids on Tuesday!

Wlonc ond Wingal, Back on Track... Again

2009-04-14T14:43:00.001-05:00

Just an FYI. I'm realizing how important it is to have a place to vent. Conveniently, I already have one! So I'm back to using it. Yo.

The Shoes I Am Wearing

2009-04-12T15:08:00.010-05:00

An agreement made long, long ago... in the Before-time. Can't really remember the why or how, exactly, all I know is that I have paid off my bet and Jenny is now in a position to buy her damn shoes.

And I didn't even have to resort to prostitution. This time.

But if Jenny gets shoes, shouldn't I? Shouldn't I, too, mark this occasion with foot candy? After much consideration (which is to say virtually none, for who really needs to give long, drawn-out consideration to the act or necessity of buying shoes?), I decided a major purchase should be made. And the best kind of purchase, too... the totally impractical kind.

Meet Arturo Chiang's Vintage Copper Snake Iman:

Aren't they beautiful? Regularly $110.00, but I got them on a little bit of a sale... and then an additional 30% off. I have spent entirely too much time admiring them and will be searching for excuses to wear them... not much call for flashy four-inch heels in the average college classroom, but I'm sure I can rationalize them at least once before the end of the year.

One problem, though: the care instructions say to keep them away from intense heat... and we know I'm almost entirely composed of hotness. A risk worth taking, however... because these are friggin' gorgeous.

I expect a similar post from Jenny. *ahem*ahem*ahem*

PSSWR: NCBC

2009-04-02T19:04:00.002-05:00

And so, this Friday, Wingal and boobarella are going to get on planes and have a little weekend excursion/adventure/mischief. We wish you could all come with us. Wait.... no... actually, we'll be fine without you. In fact, it's possible we'll both just be in each other's way. But we're going to laugh and smile and drink and expose our mutual paleness in swimwear and come back with lots to say and nothing to report. Hmm...

Hope your weekends are all equally vague.

Things I had forgotten about childhood and other sundries.

2009-03-25T12:46:00.003-05:00

I sadly have not dropped off the face of the earth, I've just been assembling baby furniture. I somehow failed to recall despite the very long and shared experience of assembling that Barbie Corevette with my sister years ago that most childhood items seem to have "some assembly required". The good news? The good news is that most assemble it yourself furniture now comes with it's own allen wrench and bolt tightener. What they don't seem to have is the plethora of batteries it takes to make each thing do their "thang". Yes, I just finished assembling one item that require 3 C batteries only to assemble another item that need 2 AA and 1 D battery. It's a conspiracy I tell you! I just know it is. Just like I know I'm going to get a nasty note from the recycling guy telling me I can't put anything larger than a pizza box in the recycling including a pizza box, because that actually goes in the compostable bin because it has food on it. And yet they take yoghurt and milk containers in the recycling. I don't actually see the difference, but apparently there is one and they monitor those cans pretty closely. Have I mentioned yet that my garbage is actually full of packing foam and I haven't even emptied the household trash yet? No? Well, it is. Worse yet, last week the homeless woman who uses our library to watch videos asked me if I was just fat or pregnant. I wanted to ask her if her unusually large forehead was natural of just plastic (because it looks like plastic or rubber and it's why we call her "forehead lady"). Since I've only managed to gain 20 lbs I don't think I look fat and I'm now less inclined than ever to help her find her stupid Russian ballet videos. The toad. Not to mention my work just hired back the woman I replaced to replace me while I go on maternity leave. This does not make for a comfortable situation if you ask me. Suddenly everyone seems to want my low paying menial job. Fan-tast-ic. However, I'm pretty sure she was let go for incompetence/personality issues and just couldn't hack it at an academic institution because the day she gave her two weeks notice they told her to pack up her stuff and leave and then posted her job position all in the same day. Sounds fishy, n'est pas?

Anyway, I'd attach a clever picture or something to this post, but my internet is down at home AGAIN and Mr. Fix-it doesn't seem concerned enough to do anything about it despite the fact I need it for many things like my weekly medical appointments. Oh no, he's too busy building a pull out for the t.v. that's going to fall over in the first earthquake we have and kill me and our child. He spent a whole day on that. A whole day, and yet there were so many other things he could have been doing like, finishing painting, or putting his clothes away, going to goodwill and dropping stuff off, but no...he set up the two new t.v.'s he just had to have. I didn't want either. So I bought a lamp. HA! Take that! Stupid t.v. is too big for the cabinet anyway. Too big for the room. Too big for me. Piece to total...well you get my feeling on that particular subject.

Mean while, Muni has been oddly reliable and an unusually polite experience of late. Go figure.

Chatstravaganza, Part Two

2009-03-19T19:47:00.003-05:00

Wingal: Dude, would you really do that in Gum Drop Lane?

boobarella: all the fuck over gum drop lane

boobarella: on the gumdrop palace

boobarella: and the tutti fruti trees

boobarella: in the licorice river

boobarella: on the chocolate bench

boobarella: lol

boobarella: I'm fuckin' matt damon

Wingal: LOL

Wingal: You'll get sugar all over your ass.

boobarella: consider it traction

Wingal: Nice.

boobarella: If the Candy Land King isn't home we'll do it on top of the candy cane table

Wingal: Um... are you talking about you and me now?

boobarella: LOL!

boobarella:

Wingal: I love it.

boobarella: really

boobarella: it never gets old

Wingal: No, it really, really, really doesn't.

My new favorite wine...is me.

2009-03-13T23:52:00.006-05:00

Such a beautiful night here. The moon is almost full and the lake is dead calm. Not to cold out but you can smell the fireplaces (yes the city does have a few if you can believe it). A cool night like this calls for a sexy wine and this is my new favorite.

A new house wine maybe? Very simply, it's called Monastrell No1 2007 ($12) and it is 100% Monastrell from the Valencia region in Spain. It is a beautiful garnet color with a deep purple ring and a dark moody taste like me. There's plums and coffee and black berries. It's a full bodied and kinda complicated wine.

Holy crap, it's the wine version of me.

There were only 1500 cases made for U.S. comsumption, so get it before you find it taken by that old guy in the english department who has a prediliction for young women..err, umm I mean young wines.

So if you were a wine, what would you be?

Chatstravaganza

2009-03-10T23:12:00.001-05:00

Wingal: If I hadn't acted half-lesbian on your comments, NONE of this would be happening.

boobarealla: well yes

boobarella: and see we are powerful

boobarealla: when we get together you get a piece of ass

boobarealla: wait

Wingal: Wow. It's true. This is proof.

boobarealla: that sounded odd

Birth of a Vixen

2009-03-10T18:04:00.002-05:00

Y'all. So, we know that Wingal has a new gig that's taking her to new digs in the East. We also know that her Brigadoon is just begging to be blogged once she arrives there. And, judging from the general state of her life at the moment, it's very possible that the Margarita Girls' newest Vixen is going to be reborn in so many other ways that will require recording. Like a caterpillar into a butterfly, our girl seems to be coming into her own lately in a very powerful, compelling, and perfect-for-the-blogosphere kind of way.

Thus it's time for a new blog and a new blog identity. She is open to suggestion. Er, suggestions. Let the crazy begin.

Goople-Gopple!

2009-03-08T00:19:00.002-06:00

I nominate Reese Witherspoon as an honorary Midnight Margarita.

boobarella and Wingal: Textravaganza!

2009-03-02T19:48:00.004-06:00

boobarella: Am retard & now watching the bachelor in emergency room...now brain hurts. (Mon, Mar 2, 7:31 pm)

Wingal: WTF?! Are u ok?! (7:32 pm)

boobarella: Brownie accident. Brownies won (7:33 pm)

Wingal: I am so confused... Did u use the bread knife again? (7:35 pm)

boobarella: Nope...steak knife this time. Stabbed my hand, am tard (7:40)

Wingal: OMG! Not too bad i hope? Not going for stigmata? Ripped like jesus! (7:43 pm)

boobarella: Not too bad, just kinda deep. Also need shot b/c brownies cause tetanus (7:46 pm)

*****

boobarella: Dr way hot... hot hot hot (8:30 pm)

Wingal: Is he single?! Say something about how good u usually are w/ ur hands. (8:33 pm)

boobarella: I asked if I could take two pinot noirs for pain...i think he thinks i meant glasses (8:35 pm)

Wingal: Well he doesn't know u honey... He's not our kind. (8:37 pm)

boobarella: He is cute thus he is our kind (8:39 pm)

Wingal: Throw a bag over him and come visit me. I'll make the brownies. The special ones. (8:41 pm)

My Wedding album is lacking.

2009-02-28T11:32:00.001-06:00

Why isn't there a picture like this in my wedding album??

A Merit Badge

2009-02-22T12:29:00.003-06:00

2009-02-14T19:49:00.002-06:00

Happy Valentines Day!

CONGRATULATIONS WINGAL!!!!

2009-02-13T09:11:00.001-06:00

Sometimes you need a good bitch.

2009-02-10T18:22:00.003-06:00

Hey, it's not the best but it's not bad either! So go out, and buy a case of Bitch!

The Wingal Top 5 Songs

2009-02-02T09:31:00.004-06:00

A/k/a, "How I'm not as lame as boobarella."

Granted, mine are off of my iTunes generally, not off the ol' iPod. And it doesn't look like the song in the Number One slot is going to be usurped anytime soon. But anyway...

1. Hysteria - Muse
2. Creep - Radiohead
3. Force of Nature - Lenka
4. Snowfall Kind of Love - Ingrid Michaelson
5. Toxic (Live) - Tristan Prettyman

While I'll admit that "Creep" is somewhat of a wrist-slitter and that "Snowfall Kind of Love" ranks as sap, the other three songs pretty much only serve to prove that Wingal wants to get laid. And there ain't nothin' wrong with that.

Much else to tell with my life... there will be a posting soon, in the next day or two. Cheers!

Upstate: It's like Deliverance on snow tires

2009-02-01T17:11:00.002-06:00

"Was there a mouth breather convention in Ithaca I did not know about?"

My Shitty Taste

2009-01-31T23:25:00.004-06:00

1) Lovers by Foreign Slippers
2) Make You Feel My Love by Adele
3) I Wish I Was a Fisherman by Foreign Slippers
4) Elephants by Rachael Yamagata
5) Duet by Rachael Yamagata

The really sad and distressing thing is that after the top five my taste appears to begin to rock out. I guess I didn't realize I was this much of a mushy girl.

Will Alicia Keys and Jack White make it in to the top five? Will Lorretta Lynn or Alison Krauss make an appearance? And what about that song Radio by Beyonce that the ipod keeps playing seemingly every fourth song?

Stay tuned for next weeks exciting adventure!

The Wine that I am Drinking

2009-01-29T20:24:00.006-06:00

For those of you who think all I do when I come home is sit on the couch with one hand in my pants and another around a big glass of deep, meaty, dry, red wine.

Well poo on you. Sometimes I drink white wine.

A few weeks ago I told you about the Pinot Noir I had from Cloudline. Yesterday when I was at the wine shop I saw this beauty, the Cloudline Pinot Gris (2006), sitting in the cold case next to the champagne. I wasn't going to buy it, it was $20 and out of my price range. "Never mind, some other day maybe," I said thinking that maybe with payday coming I would splurge then.

"It's our last one, and we're not carrying it anymore."

BASTARDS

It is delicious! It's the color of corn silk and tastes of musky flowers. Not dry, but not sweet either. It makes your Chardonnay look like a primitive fish with legs. I had it tonight with some red curry and a Manhattan maki.

I also wanted to give you a heads up on a new feature that Wingal has berated me in to doing. We had a good laugh at how lame the top 5 songs in the "Top 25 Most Played" play list on my iTunes were (read: Wingal called me a loser for 15 minutes while struggling to breath as she fell off her futon laughing at the songs). So tomorrow when I get home, I'll sync my ipod and give you the list of the top five songs that prove just how lame I am. Please feel free to list your top 5 most oft listened to songs as well. Hopefully your lists will give me some new songs to listen too and I'll finally be cool.

Our Second President

2009-01-25T21:33:00.006-06:00

I thought it was just me and Chef. I thought we were the only big old geeks to love, and I mean LOVE, the HBO mini-series John Adams. But then award season came and Paul Giamatti and Laura Linny and others from the cast have been reaping the benefits. Really, please, see this. Rent it buy it steal it I don't care, JUST SEE IT. Do you need to borrow my copy of the DVDs? I'll ship it to you.

We bought and watched the series on DVD last summer. Hope was not the democratic nominee and merely a glimmer in our eyes and hearts. We plugged in John Adams and found ourselves yelling "THAT IS HOW YOU PRESIDENT!" at the TV.

Tom Wilkinson, playing the 18th century's answer to Bill Clinton, (both incredible statesmen, both shrewd politicians, both have a thing for the chubby girls) has received a few (well deserved) awards as well. And really, this will make you appreciate dirty old men even more than you did before.

And when Alexander Hamilton looks like this:

I mean, how can you really argue with me? Seriously, go watch this now. I'll wait here for your thanks and praise.

Continuing saga of Mooch & his wenis.

2009-01-15T22:31:00.003-06:00

There is an Inuit tribe up near the Arctic Circle where the span of time that covers from approximately January 15th – February 20th is loosely translated as “the-month-that-is-so-cold-that-when-dogs-pee-they-pee-on-themselves.”

If only that were the case at casa de Mooch.

Mooch, as you will recall, had some wenis complications in 2007 that resulted in his chariot swinging low and Chef donning rubber gloves about 6 times a day to lube the old man. Mooch has since healed, his wenis stays well hidden in his furry undies and the gloves have since collected dust. But still on every walk, due to the pain our wallets continue to feel from the surgery, Chef and I make sure that Mooch takes a pee and the plumbing is still operative.

As I am sure the weather-man, or possibly the national news, has told you we here in the Midwest have fallen in to the 9th circle of Hell and are living along the banks of the Cocytus. The high today, the HIGH, was -5 degrees. With the wind from Lucifer’s wings, the wind-chill brought us down to -20 in some areas of the city. Mooch has let us know, in no uncertain terms, that this is an unacceptable temperature.

As Chef is home during the day, he gets the honor & the glory of walking the boys in the morning and early afternoon. With the recent cold, the walks have been very short to nonexistent as all three of them are insisting on peeing, “studying physics,” and running home; we haven’t made it off the block, let alone our side of the street, in over a week. Today it was so cold, one little puggy did his duty and ran inside. The next little puggy didn’t do anything outside, ran in and hit the pee-pad. Mooch, the third little puggy, didn’t do anything outside, nor inside. He came in from his walk and laid down. Chef wouldn’t have worried but the voice from the Care Credit card sang to him “Mooooochie has to pee! His wenis may be broken! Check his pipe snake!” Between the hours of 9am and 3pm, Chef took Poor Mooch out in to the cold seven times. And not once did he pee.

One time they went out, Mooch ran steaming down the sidewalk and jumped into a huge snowdrift and “studied physics.” He jumped out and ran for home. No pee. The next time, he showed some interest in spot where another dog had peed.

“Hey Guy, someone peed over there!” exclaimed Mooch as he dove in a snow bank.

Chef/Guy shook his head as he watched the old pug leap through the snow. Suddenly realizing that he was a) cold and b) up to his jowls in snow, Mooch looked up and Chef as if to say “Holy fuck! Guy, it is freezing! What the hell?! Get me out of here!” And they went home. And not once did he pee.

It was now 3pm and Mooch had not peed since 11pm the night before. That is 16 hours with out a whiz. For any dog (or person for that matter) this is not healthy, especially not for one that has had extensive surgery on the area. I consulted the good people over at pugs.com, but to no avail (really, the best anyone there could give me was “offer him a treat!”). Chef decided to call the vet and see what he should do…
“So he hasn’t peed in 16 hours you say?” asked the vet.

“Yeah,” said Chef, “I’m really getting worried.”

“It is a concern, the bacteria found in urine is not good when trapped in a warm bladder for so long, especially one that has had issues before,” said the vet confirming Chef’s fear.

“Okay, what can I do?”

The vet then went on to explain to Chef that he needed to get on the floor with Mooch and gently squeeze and apply pressure to Mooch’s bladder and wenis. Chef sighed a heavy sigh as he realized that this was once again his heft to bear.

Gallantly, Chef descended to the floor and firmly (but gently) applied pressure to Mooch’s bladder, and then his wenis.

Nothing.

Feeling that he was going to need a strong drink before getting back to servicing Mooch, Chef prepared a spot (two spots he insists) of tea. As the water began to boil, Chef noticed that Mooch had begun the dance of pee on the pee-pad near the kitchen door. Spinning like a whirling dervish looking for God, Mooch twirled the pee-pad in to a ball and then walked away. He walked over to one of the dog beds and lifted his leg. Fearing having to go outside to get to the laundry room should the bed become soaked with urine, in an amazing feat of strength and quick thinking Chef launched him self out of the kitchen, grabbed the ball of pee-pa, flung the dog bed out of the line of fire, and got the pad under Mooch just in the nick of time. Mooch snorted a sigh of relief as he emptied a lake on to the pee-pad and floor.

“Treats all around,” yelled Chef and the pee-party began! There was much dancing and rejoicing. And mopping. Much mopping. And then Mooch, so happy to have finally gone pee, curled up in the bed and fell asleep.

We took him out at 6pm for the evening walk. He didn’t pee.

He just looked at Chef and winked.

R.I.P.

2009-01-14T23:37:00.003-06:00

"Ricardo Montalban, the Mexican-born actor who became a star in splashy MGM musicals and later as the wish-fulfilling Mr. Roarke in TV's "Fantasy Island," died Wednesday morning at his home, his family said. He was 88."

Ahh..kids...

2009-01-11T21:51:00.001-06:00

"My wife would like that!"

2009-01-07T22:25:00.001-06:00

Damn right she doesn't.

2009-01-03T21:13:00.002-06:00

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T18:58:00.005-06:00

I know you are all waiting with bated breath wondering what it is that Boobarella & Chef did for New Year's Eve. Well, wait no longer! Chef spent two days making his highly praised and always delicious cassoulet. We brought it, along with some wonderful homemade pumpernickel over to our friends Jenn & Mark's home for a night of good food and good fun with good friends.

We enjoyed dinner with a couple of bottles of wine from the N.H.L. Signature Wine Series. A bottle of Bobby Hull Chardonnay and Tony Esposito Cabernet to be exact. The Cabernet was meaty and a nice accompaniment to the cassoulet and the Chardonnay tasted not like the inside of Gordy Howe's socks, but had a good buttery flavor with a citrus aftertaste.

I had asked Jenn for the bottles so I could take a picture of the labels (they were signed) and read what was on the back of the bottle. But this morning when I woke from my drunken haze I found something else all together in my bag. . .

While my brother suspects the mischievous specter of our grandmother was at work, none of my pictures are tilted in her usual manor and all of my salad dressing is still well within the range of edible. So that leaves one of three possibilities: 1) Jenn has no idea what to do with acorn squash and has decided to let Chef give it a try, 2) these were Chef's prizes for winning the card game (that Jenn & I totally had in the bag until Chef & Mark cheated somehow that I believe involved grape vodka - and they laughed at me for taking my cards with me to the loo) or 3) the bottles were in my bag, but they turned in to gourds when the clock struck midnight.

Wine, wine, wine. . .

2008-12-30T14:38:00.024-06:00

and more wine.

I seem to be talking to myself these days, could be because everyone else has better things to do (be pregnant, play in SF, bake 900 doz. cookies), but I am on vacation until January 5th and I have some (8) wines to tell you about. So sit back and let me babble on.

Tortoise Creek Pinot Noir (France though they also have a winery in CA, $10). Got this one on sale from my wonderful PeaPod (groceries delivered, godloveit). It was a nice spicy/fruity wine (cherries?) and went very well with the Chef's lamb stew you see in that cute little bowl. It was a very snowy night so this was a wonderful meal to have while we watched it come down out there.

"Learning to Fly" (Chile, $9) is a 100% Carmenere wine. I was reading about this grape on a favorite blog and was surprised to find a bottle at my local wine shop later that night. It's not a flavor I have had before, but this has become a favorite in the house. Notes of pepper, cumin, and (Wingal, I shit you not) bacon. It's not overly dry nor is it the least bit sweet. It's a very suprisingly good wine for very little $$.

While a lot of you, my gentle readers, live in a more tropic climate, I do not envy you. Except when it is -35. That sucked. Holy crap was that cold.I don't know if I have ever been that cold. The Chef laughed and told stories of driving in -70 degrees (Ferienheit, not Kelvin),I scowled and snuggled under a blanket with two of the boys.

What we needed was a hot wine to drink while we were shivering and decorating the tree. We chose to mambo! "Hey Mambo!" (CA, $13) is a blend of a crap load of grapes (barbera, zinfandel, syrah, petite sirah, carigname, & alicante bouchet). It's spicy, just like something called "Hey Mambo" should be. Plenty of pepper and a smooth finish, we need to add this to the next PSSWR wine list. We also should invite the people who wrote the label over. There was some crazy Mickey Spillane like story on the bottle. The website describes one of the flavors in the wine as "sweet leather." Seriously sexy wine.

The next day was more of the same frigid hell. I think I see why the Vikings 1) drank so much, 2) left Sweden. Seriously, if this is what you looked outside (yes that is a ice floe you see) and saw you would either go back inside and drink til it was sunny, or leave.

I chose to drink more.

"Efe", a 2005 cabernet savignon (20%) monastrell (80%) blend from the Bodegas Los Frailes (Spain, $12) was good and, really let's face it, like most of the other wines I tend to buy. Fruity and dry, incredibly drinkable with that nice spicy after taste. The monastrell grape in this wine makes for a more cherry flavor than in most of the wines I bring home, but it wasn't over powering. Very good, but not excellent.

For an excellent, and I do mean excellent, Pinot Noir head to Oregon (or your wine shop) and get some of this:

"Cloudline" I paid $15 for the 2007, but I see that the 2006 & 2005 will run you $20+ if you can even find them as they appear to be "collectables". This Pinot Noir from the Willamette Valley is amazing. Raspberries add to the soft somewhat sweet flavor. I see on a few websites that people said it had "faded by the next day" making me wonder why they didn't finish it the night before?

Christmas Eve, Chef prepared well seasoned duck, caesar salad, and homemade rosemary bread. I stopped on the way home and picked up another Pinot Noir, hoping for another bottle of the Cloudline. Instead, my local wine merchant suggested this one from the Yamhill Valley Vineyards (OR, $18).

A bit more than I chose to spend per bottle, but well worth it. The Estate Pinot Noir tastes cool and the slight tartness complemented the savoriness of the duck.

For Christmas dinner of beast roast in a scotch and mushroom sauce, we had a ridiculously dark red cabernet franc from France ($15). I'm sorry I don't have a picture of it, but it was the Frederic Mabileau Saint-Nicolas-de-Bourgueil Les Rouilleres. That's a mouthful, but so was the wine. Musky, woody, black cherries, tobacco. Wonderful.

Then, just as quickly as the cold came it was gone. And lo, it was 65 and we switched to gin.

I will end this obscenely long post with last night's wine, "Alaia" (Spain, $13).

I had been waffling between a few other bottles and this one was recommended to me by the loverly Irishman who works/owns the wine shop. I know that the Irish are not known for having the best palate (really between that and the rest of my Anglo Saxon roots, ketchup is sometimes too intense a flavor) but he was right about this one. Not amazing, but certainly different. 5% Merlot, 45% tempranillo, and 50% prieto picudo, it's a sweet wine. Not like Boones Farm, not at all. It's still dry but it's more of fig taste than any other fruit I can pin. Apparently the prieto picudo grape was thought to be lost, but some guys in Spain found it in an old lady's backyard and revived it.

So that's what I have been drinking this last month. I also finally had time to finish a book that I bought as the beginning of this past semester started, "State by State." It's a fantastic look at each state by fifty different authors not always associated with the state they were assigned. Some of the essays were horrid (California, Delaware), some were painfully beautiful (Idaho, Rhode Island), two were done as cartoons (Oregon, Vermont), and some were hilarious (Illinois, Massachusetts, New York). When you have a chance, I recommend picking it up. I had brought it with me to the lake house in October with the intentions of reading a goodly portion of it. I didn't get a chance to as I was helping Dad out and had suggested to my younger brother that he take a look at it. He read almost all of it by the time I left 3 days later.

Enough from me for now, though I suspect I will have more to say by tomorrow. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and that this next year will be merry & bright!

Happy Boxing Day!

2008-12-26T11:30:00.000-06:00

Doin' it Elf style.

2008-12-25T12:25:00.000-06:00

My ride home.

2008-12-22T23:15:00.006-06:00

For the first time since we have lived here, I had the privilege of riding on the CTA Holiday Train. The most fun was watching people's faces as we pulled up to the various stops on the route home. We were met with either pure bouncing smiling joy from grown men & women, or horror and disgust.

2008-12-15T22:08:00.000-06:00

To my neighbor scraping ice off his car at 5 am on Saturday

2008-12-08T13:11:00.010-06:00

Good morning! I don’t know if you noticed or not, but it was 5am and on a Saturday when you spent that hour or so vigorously scraping, ney beating, ice off your car. I will ignore the fact that you are doing this simply because you probably have a job you have to get to and in this economy, well, hey I don’t want you to lose your job because you were late. But really kind sir, I must say your ice scraping was taking you forever and seems to have turned in to quite the laborious task. Being a native of the colder climates myself and a bit of student in the art of winter weather, might I offer this handy guide to getting that pesky ice off your car?

1) De-icing the car door: So you get to the car and find that you can’t open it. Take your key and warm it up in you hand, breathe on it if you have to. Slide your key around the seam of your door; this should move enough ice that you can open it up with a firm tug. Not too firm! We don’t want you falling backwards and breaking anything like your coccyx or your head! Coccyx is a fun word to say isn’t it? COCCYX! It’s like word a superhero would use to make his powers work. COCCYX! then BAM! the bad guys blow up.

2) Get in the car: I know, seems like an odd step, but here me out. Once you get in the car, turn it on, unless you are one of those bastards with keyless entry and start up, in which case you may have damaged your coccyx for no reason as you could have started the car up before trying to de-ice the door thereby saving you some time, troubles, and the injury to your coccyx.

Anyway, get in the car and turn it on. Turn the heat, the front window defroster, and the rear window defroster all on hot & high. While that is starting up and heating the car, you can look for your ice scraper, which is undoubtedly not where you think it is. Look in the backseat…not there? check in the glove compartment….I’ll wait while you riffle through that mess….not there either? Did you put in the trunk for some inexplicable reason? No? Are you sure? No, don’t bother to get out and look that would be silly. Well, I’m sure you are starting to sweat a little, but trust me all the heat blowing around in there is a good thing. Did you look under the driver seat? I know I had one that always ended up…oh good you found it! Actually while we’re talking about your ice scraper…

2a) Get a real ice scraper. No doubt, you are using one of those namby-pamby small plastic ice scrapers you get free from gas stations and insurance salesmen.

That thing is a waste of time and energy (not to mention a waste of valuable polypropylene, which is made from oil…so maybe you should hold on to it in case you need to melt it down for fuel later when the coming economic apocalypse hits).

What you want to get is one of these:

As you can see the expandable handle has a nice grip in the center allowing for more force and therefore allows for a more thorough ice removal. The handy brush on the other end is also far superior to those crappy plastic and wood things that will splinter when you hit them against the neighbor kids when they ice up the sidewalk. I hate those bastards too you know. See, something we have in common! Anyway, really spend the $ and get one of these nice scrapers, you won’t be sorry and you won’t lose it under the car seat. Or in that shame of a glove box; seriously was that a cheeseburger wrapper in there?

3) Crank up the tunes! Everyone needs good ice scraping music, so crank up the radio loud enough to be heard out side of the car with the windows closed and the engine running. I know, I know, I was complaining about the sound of your ice scraping and now I am telling you to turn up the music. Trust me, no one will hear it and if they do, they won’t mind that for the short period that it will be that loud.

4) Get scraping! Jump out of the car (slowly, be careful of that coccyx) and let’s get to work on that windshield! Assuming you still have that crappy one (and of course you do, I mean where would you go on foot because your car is still covered in ice at 5 am to buy a new better one?), using both hands grasp the ice scraper at the middle and the very end of the handle. This should give you the force necessary to remove the stubborn stuff. Starting at the top of the windshield, start pushing/scraping the ice in a diagonal direction toward the wipers. This should be relatively easy now that your heater and engine have melted much of the ice that was directly on the glass. Again, since you have that shitty scraper, use your arm to brush away any large chunks.

5) Don’t forget the mirrors and door windows! You may have to readjust the side mirrors, but really you will thank me for reminding you when you try to flip off the yahoo riding your ass only to find out it’s a cop. LOL, what am I saying! You’re a guy! You don’t use mirrors! Those are for pussies and girls!

But really do the door windows and not just a damned circle large enough for you to peer out off. It’s a car, not a sub, and those should not be used like a porthole.

6) The back window: By the time you get around to here, the ice should be just sliding down the window to the trunk. Again, just use your arm to brush the snow/ice off the car.

7) DONE! See how much easier that was than the torture you went through Saturday morning!?!

Now on your way home, go buy a real ice scraper. You’ll thank me later.

xoxo,

boobarella