If we have said it once, we have said it a million times - what terrible bloggers we are! Now granted there was much much revelry after Dr. V announced her pending nuptials, but JesusMaryChain we have no excuse for missing the whole summer? Do we?

Here's my excuse that I'm offering up: I got a new job and after Chef returned from the Canadian Subtropics we had to pack up the apartment and I moved to the North Country. I'm now living on a mountain top in my new lair, laughing like a maniacal evil villain as I gaze down in to Whoville.

So what's your excuse?

Holy Effing Wedding, Batman!

Wow, yeah, so... hey. Um, I'm getting married! I suppose you want to know details. Let's see. So.

Well, about 14 years ago I met Trevor and it was love at first sight... for me. Also, envy at first sight, what with him already being secured to one of my sorority sisters. Whoops! But I loved him, very quietly and secretly, all through college. After college--and after their break-up--we very nearly got together; but owing to an undiagnosed inner ear condition and a night that involved too much alcohol, I was forced to cancel a lunch date that could have rewritten the last ten years. However, truly believing that everything happens for a reason, we choose to avoid the what ifs.

I went on to grad school(s) and he went on to get married and have two gorgeous children. When we reconnected at our 10 year college reunion, he was still married and I was getting ready to start a job as a professor; but, when we first saw each other after all those years, the hug we exchanged spoke volumes about how much we had missed and how much we had meant to each other. After he separated from his wife and started the divorce process, we reconnected again (ah, Facebook, you wonderful, conniving whore) and began exchanging harmless messages, catching up on the years that we'd spent apart and consoling one another through difficult times. He came to visit in January of 2010 and we spent the weekend drinking coffee and talking; nothing more. Stronger feelings developed from there, and when he visited again the weekend of March 5th, he came with intentions. At 2:00 a.m. March 7, 2010, Trevor told me he loved me and I told him that I had loved him for 14 years. By June of last year, we knew where this was headed.



It has been an amazing year+ and the girl who never, ever thought she'd find someone she could love with all of her heart has found someone she loves even more than that. From the outside looking in, people would say we're disgusting and saccharine, but from where we stand, we don't have the words to describe accurately just how much we love one another. I thought Jane Austen wrote fairy tales, but I'd put the love I share with Trevor up against any of her fictional couples any day of the week.

On April 1, 2011 (leave it to Trevor to pick April Fools' Day!), I came out of my faculty meeting and was met by Trevor and my dog Brandon. I knew Trevor was coming for the weekend and had been texting him throughout the faculty meeting. Trevor suggested we take a little walk down by the lake, and so we did. I didn't get suspicious until he said we should go into the boathouse and out on the dock... then, I admit, I began to wonder. Out on the dock, he got down on one knee and proposed. Me being me, I got pretty emotional.



How I'm going to get down that aisle without streams of mascara and eyeliner going down my cheeks and making me resemble a member of the KISS Army, I just don't know.

But I (obviously) said yes.



We hugged and kissed, the ring was put on my finger, and we started to proceed back up the dock and through the boathouse. At that point, I thought we were headed home to... um... be at home. But instead he wanted me to walk up beside the boathouse... I was completely lost as to what was happening... and then he opened the door to the indoor area of the boathouse. There, in front of me, stood a group of my students and a number of my colleagues. The students had decorated the whole place with lights and flowers and candles and balloons; set up buckets full of wine, beer, champagne, and pop; had placed cakes and food on another table... it was insane and completely unexpected. I immediately collapsed on the floor in shock while they all laughed. After that, I was made to stand off to the side and wait as my students lined up and Trevor grabbed his guitar. Explaining that, at OWU, after a proposal all the Delt brothers would have gotten together to serenade me, Trevor said that he had arranged for something else... he and my students serenaded me, singing "Leather and Lace," by Stevie Nicks and Don Henley. Yes, it's corny, but man, did I cry! My girls, all standing there (some of them trying not to cry--we're sappy at this school; so much estrogen in one place) and singing something they had practiced over the course of the week. It was very touching. After that, Trevor sang a solo of our song, Over the Rhine's "Drunkard's Prayer."



I honestly cannot imagine a better proposal.

And so, I'm engaged! To the man I have loved the longest and to my very best friend. How I got so lucky, I don't quite know... but I could not imagine being any happier than I am right now or than I've been for over a year now. Now I just have to plan a wedding.

Oh wow... holy shit!

Slackers

We are suck fucking slackers.

New post soon...at least one of us has something to share........

Today I have bedazzled boobs!

good to know before the holidays come along

Created by Oatmeal

In case you have ever wondered...

Created by Oatmeal

What we did for Spring Break. Acted like twelve-year-olds putting on a play and forced the dog to be involved.

Lemonade

Courtesy of the fine people at the Château where I spend my holidays.

In Which Boobarella Admits Her Ignorance

What the devil is foursquare other than a way for me to know when my IT Puppy is not in the office and out having his time with strippers & blow?  Seriously, I thought maybe in some drunken stupor I missed an election when some guy named @RexHuppke tweeted  "I just became the mayor of Chicago on @foursquare!"  

I'm going to start my own social networking thing-ma-jobby.  And screw you I'm mayor of my office bitches.

In Which Calliope & Boobarealla Have a Difference of Opinion

Not a scratching post.

When we last left Boobarella....

Jenny's comments on the last entry made me realize that I may have forgot to share some things about what has been happening up here.

Chef got a job in the Great White North, slightly south of Valhalla and west of the Land of Ice & Snow.

Since we really couldn't pass up this opportunity for Chef and there were no jobs in South Manitoba for me, the other two pugs, cat and I remain in our lakeside apartment, 12 hours away. Chef & Mooch loaded up the car we just bought the week previous and headed north on a two-day adventure drive through the cheese forest and into the Lutheran stronghold of South Manitoba. And while they may have been enjoying some cool temperatures up north, I have all the furniture.

Anyway, hence the previous post on some of the world's saddest food. After having Chef here for the last, umm - how long have we been married? - 8 (9??) years cooking for me, I am out of practice. That and when he left, Chef took all the spices except the salt, pepper, and cinnamon.

He also left me a sticky bottle of rice vinegar. I don't even know what that is.

I had vowed not to buy any more meat until I ate all of what was in the freezer, but seriously I don't know what to make of half of it. The chicken was the first to disappear. That one was easy and yielded a few meals. The catfish...that was ok, but far too much for one person and when reheated it was like a fishy pudding mushy blech.

The ground pork was ruined by the world's saddest spaghetti sauce, and the lamb bits turned into a nice stir fry with the purple cabbage I found living in the fridge.

At least I hope that was a cabbage.

Needs Improvement.

Bad bloggers! We have been terrible! We have this wonderful blog and what do we do? Ignore it and just treat it like a ginger kid.

Really there is no excuse.

Since I am now living the single life as Chef & Mooch have relocated to South Manitoba I am going to be blogging the hell out of things. First up, my horrific attempts at cooking.

The world's saddest spaghetti sauce

The world's saddest chicken pot pie


Recipe for a delicious dinner

Double Rainbow!!!!

I think this is just so damn awesome. I wish I had days like this. I suppose I could, if I had the right connections. Seriously, you have to watch this all the way through. It will make you happy.

Original Double Rainbow video!!:




Original Double Rainbow video set to music!!:

PSSWR 2010: Virginana...

It's ON, Sexybitches!!!

This is just a reminder that PSSWR 2010 is a GO... even if there are only three of us (Dr. Vixen, boobarella, and Jenny, as you see above), PSSWR is on. So, for all of you still interested, here are the details once more.

WHAT: Point-Something Sexybitches Winetastic Roadtrip (PSSWR) 2010

WHEN: Wednesday, May 26 to Sunday, May 30 (give or take as many days as you like, both before and after)

WHERE: Sweet Briar, Virginia... at the quaint little abode of Dr. Vixen... a place also known as the "Skanktuary"

WHO: Sponsored by the Midnight Margarita Girls

WHY: Because sometimes Sexybitches (of all ages) just need to congregate for a little Sexybitches time... kicking back, visiting wineries, eating good food, listening to good music, drinking good wine (etc.), playing ridiculously juvenile board games (Dream Phone, anyone?), and enjoying the conversation and camaraderie of like-minded awesome ladies. We can even go swimming down at the lake and, with any luck, have a private party there at the boathouse.

How to get here:

FLYING: If your distance from Virginana necessitates the use of winged metallic sky-beasts, there are several airport choices to look into as far as destination. Here they are, from closest to Sweet Briar to furthest:
Lynchburg (30 minutes away)
Charlottesville (1 hour)
Roanoke (1.5 hours)
Richmond (2.5 hours)

The Margarita Girls will make every effort to get you transported safely from whichever airport you use to the cozy comfort of Dr. Vixen's Skanktuary Retreat. If you would like to coordinate with other fliers, please post in the comments section below. I also hereby encourage Jenny and boobarella to post there arrival/departure information in the comments, as well, so people can have some sense of when and where others are arriving via plane.

DRIVING: Whether you're using the Googles, MapQuest, YahooMaps, or your own GPS system (like my own dear, beloved "Mandy" Tom-Tom), your destination is, quite simply, SWEET BRIAR, VIRGINIA. There is only one and giving you a street address will do you no good whatsoever. Once you get to the campus itself, I will be able to direct you more appropriately to the Skanktuary. This is a small place... I really doubt you'll get lost.

Sweet Briar is located approximately one hour south of Charlottesville, in Central Virginia, and approximately thirty minutes north of Lynchburg. The local highway is 29; the closest major highway is 81.

Please RSVP in the comments section below ASAP so we can begin the planning process. All you will need to bring with you is whatever you'll need in the way of clothes, toiletries, and other accoutrements... Linens (sheets, pillows, towels) are STRONGLY encouraged and, especially for anyone driving, inflatable mattresses might be a good idea. One way or another, we will do our best to make sure everyone is comfortably taken care of.

Colonel Brandon wants to meet you...



..and Cedric is eagerly anticipating your arrival...



We truly hope to see you in May! Seriously... you know you need to get away for a little mental health time. Why not spend it with similarly crazy people? And in some of the most beautiful country you have ever seen...

Happy Easter!

And lo, Jesus came to his followers and said 'have you guys tried this bacon stuff?'

'No our lord, for it is not kosher.'

'Yeah, you guys might want to get on this, it's really great..."

Thanks to Aunt Becky for finally making cards for all of us to enjoy!

Cooking with Jenny

I'm the Responsible One in this Relationship

So there I was last week minding my own business when my mother called me. "Your Grandmother is moving to Virginia next week and she has some furniture for you if you can drive down to Arizona and pick it up." Well, being short notice and all I thought we pulled it together rather quickly, however, the "furniture" became just a bookcase the more my Aunt got involved (because clearly she wanted anything she could get her hands on and I'm not really sure why I got earmarked a bookcase, but I'm really happy I did). Anyway, I drove over to Hayward to pick up Mr. Fix-it after loading up the car all by myself. I even managed to get there on time. Once there, I had to wait 2 hours for him to stop talking to people and get his rear end out the door. It seems like everyone wanted to tell us just exactly how to get to Tuscan from San Francisco. Fortunately we did take the way I had pointed out to him otherwise we would have arrived even later than expected. But we still didn't leave until 5pm (much like the trips we took as a child because my father couldn't get out the door on time either).

The first day of driving was uneventful. We stopped at Andersen's pea soup kitchen. I hate
Andersen's pea soup. It's flavorless and flavorless, but I ordered it anyway, because apparently I like to torchure myself. And then I was asked to drive through the "Grapevine" which is the mountainous part of the highway in the rain and fog and through L.A. We arrived in Desert Palms at 2:30 am.

The next morning we got up a little late and were planning on having breakfast with one of Jim's co-workers who has a house down there. However, as both of them were working via their phones the am turned into pm and we finally went out to lunch. Which meant we didn't get to go to Joshua Tree Nat. Park and we would arrive in Green Valley at 8:30pm. We stopped in a place called Blythe, Ca for lunch. Okay, we stopped at a gas station that had a Quiznos as opposed to the McDonald's next door. Since we didn't actually get anything at Quiznos, getting nothing at McDonalds would have been just as good especially since they have highchairs and Quiznos doesn't. On our approach to Phoenix I noticed a sign pointing out an alternative route around the city bypassing traffic. Without a map it was difficult to determine if this information was true, but we finally figured it out, turned around and headed south as we were headed into rush hour anyway. So by the time we got to Green Valley it was 8:30 and all the restaurants in Green Valley close at 8pm because everyone in the city is pretty much over 55. So our choices were: Denny's and The Family Restaurant. We went to the Family Restaurant, which hadn't really improved since the last time we were there.

The next day was uneventful. I did get to move all our stuff from one room to another by myself, much like I got to unload the car by myself. My Grandmother did give us a leather lazyboy that had been my Grandfather's. My Aunt acted resentful toward us from that point on and began convincing my Grandmother that EVERYTHING she owned was going to fit in her new appartment that is half the size of her current one. Clearly she had an agenda.

The next day was the day we left. I had to get Mr. Fix-it to move his rear end and go get some moving blankets that took him over an hour to locate and then I had to help him move all the furniture. Then while he tied down the stuff in the back I loaded up the car. By myself. You notice a theme here? Then we drove to Tuscan to have lunch with Jenny and Rafael, because going back to Tuscan seems like a moot point now that my Grandmother is moving. By the time we got to Phoenix I was seriously regretting not going to Tubac to look at Indian pottery so Mr. Fix-it found a place in Phoenix to go to and then said and I quote "It's 10 miles out of the way, I'd rather we not go." and I said, and I quote "I still want to go and you need to get some gas before leaving Phoenix" You could hear the crickets in the car. Needless to say we didn't go. I went to sleep angry and was woken up 45 minutes later to this "Um, honey, there hasn't been a gas station in 35 miles and I'm almost out. The GPS says there isn't any gas for another 40 miles. I'm going to pull over here at this (desolate) exit while I still have some and call AAA. Only I have to use your card because I've exceeded my limit for the year already and my phone isn't working so I have to use yours." Crickets again. When I pointed out that I had told him to get gas he responded he thought there'd be another station further up. When I asked why we were stopping here while we still had some gas he said it was safer. So when the AAA guy showed up in the pouring rain and said there was a gas station 8 miles up the road I could have pushed someone out of the car. And since we wasted an hour in the rain, on the side of the road, clearly we had had time for me to look at Indian pottery. By the time we got to Desert Palms it was late and we were forced to eat a Pizza Hut.

The next day we drove back to Joshua Tree and wound our way through the park. We ate dinner at Denny's because they were open and I was asked to drive the 10:30-3am shift home. The worst part of which was the pansy that cut in front of me on the Bay Bridge and had the nerve to go under the speed limit on the new S curve. Clearly he didn't know I was from West Michigan and could have done such an easy curve in my sleep. Bunch of California wusses!

And so you have it. My account of driving to Tuscan, Az. And how somebody, not me, ran out of gas on the highway, in the middle of the desert with his wife and baby in the car in a rain storm.

Olympic Sized Diseases

After two straight weeks of superior athletic competition and superior athletic costuming, I have to confess that I was unfamiliar with some of the terms/names used in the games and assumed that they were terrible diseases that some of the athletes were afflicted with.

- Mancuso: "I was diagnosed with Mancuso today; I have 5 months."

- Quebec Pop: "He gave me Quebec Pop"

                        "Maybe you shouldn't have slept with that lumberjack."

- Giant Slalom: "Taking this pill may cause constipation, giant slalom, and a yellowing of the skin..."

- Hack Foot: "Did you hear about Steve?  He has Hack Foot."

                         "Maybe he shouldn't have slept with that lumberjack."

- Burning Stone: "Eating at Taco Bell gave me a Burning Stone."

- Dry Slope: "Don't be embarrassed Honey, every woman experiences Dry Slope at one or another."

Happy Valentines Day