Since when did the Post Office start selling random crap like stuffed animals and lapel pins? I think that, actually, if I wanted a stuffed animal I would go to... er.... not the Post Office! I wouldn't think, "Crap! Little Joey [fictional child] needs a fluffy bear buddy! Thank God I live near a Post Office! Now he won't have to go without!"
See, that's just not happening. And, incidentally, the workers actually PUSH their non-post-related wares! She said to me: "Do you need a stuffed animal? A lapel pin? We also have candy? Anything else?"
"Um, no... just stamps, thank you." ????
Inevitably the day will come--SOON--when I do run to the Post Office to buy a lapel pin, and then I will eat my words. Actually, if that day comes, I'll just eat the lapel pin and get it over with. And we wondered why it took so friggin' long for our mail to get anywhere... clearly the mail thing is interrupting their new lucrative lapel pin and stuffed animal business. How dare we bother the Post Office with our mail. We are beyond low. We are scum.
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You know the sad thing is, the first time you see an old lady in the grocery store wearing one you're going to laugh. And then you will feel bad b/c the old woman will cry, b/c her grandson (the fictional Little Joey) gave it to her before he died of [insert terrible chilhood disease here] and it was his dream to be the head postal inspector for the White House and here you are laughing at her dead grandson. Shame on you Wingal. Shame.
Okay, no THAT.... THAT is over-the-top. Admit it... the Post Office as Five and Dime is a little tweaky. It's not right. It's just not right.
Tweaky.
You said it, man. Fo' Sho'.
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