Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The Sky is Falling!

In the midst of our lovely California weather...rain every day...numerous things have been dropping out of the sky onto my head in a rather unpleasant fashion. I don't know what god has marked me out as the celestial target of choice, but I'm tired of washing my hair!!

Incidently I just want you all to know that bird poo is lucky. No one wants to get near you, no one wants to touch you, and everyone feels sorry for you. Hence it's lucky. Somehow Muni instictively knew I got clobbered by a pack of wild birds outside the public library and sent an N right away to pick me up with no one on it. Wow. Now that's service. I mean, I wan't even waiting more than 45 secords, my co-worker barely had time to pull the poo out of my hair with a tissue! (What a friend! Definately a keeper!) However, I'm not exactly sure dirt and rust dripping from the ceiling onto my head was so lucky. In fact I think it felt rather toxic and burned my scalp. But I do have a vivid imagination and it might not have been the asbestos...Nothing good happened other than watching 9 new drips open up like a faucet in the new museum/former library that sounded like a Stomp concert. It was kind of like my own private revenge set to music. And now it's raining...again...like it has done for the last two weeks. At least I haven't been hit by any item from the space station yet, toilet seat or not.

Friday, January 18, 2008

The wheels on the bus go round and round.

It's so depressing, I'm not actually sure I can make this at all entertaining. I actually did write a song for this, but it really didn't convey the horror and futility of it all.

So the year started out bright on the morning of Januaray 2nd. I caught the muni and headed down town to work. Yeah, problem was I wasn't on an N, I was on a J because instead of going into the tunnel like it was supposed to it turned the corner. Now normally I don't look because I live off the N line so why would a J be going up my street? It's a very good question and I just can't answer it. So anyway, when we all realized we were on a J the ENTIRE 2 train Muni got off and hopped on a J that was headed into the tunnel. And we all got on. Then we were told they were stuck and we should get on the one in front of us. So we all got off and we all got on the new one and were told that we'd be there a while and that we could board the shuttle bus that just pulled up behind us. So we all got off and we all got on and I sat down and I looked and that stupid Muni train went into the tunnel! So there I was on a shuttle bus. The bus pulled away from the curb and went 1/2 a block and says: "We're only making one stop. This bus goes only to Embarcadero" So I got off the bus because I need to go to Van Ness which is the next stop up and I walked over to the very touristy F train. Waited 10 minutes, got on, got to Van Ness, got off and was 30 min. late for work. Fun, fun, fun!

Then there was January 7th. Instead of driving to work after my dentist appointment, I thought I'd be smart and drive home, take muni in and save myself the parking woes. Wrong choice apparently. So 5:30 came and I headed to Muni. I just missed the first train, so I hopped the second. We pulled out of the tunnel and the driver announced that there was a problem on the line and we'd be stopping at Hillway. What? Hillway? No one had ever heard of it. Anyway, it was too late to go back and hop an L, so I went to the Hillway stop and waited for the fabled shuttle buses. The drivers failed to tell us we needed to walk to the next stop down, they didn't tell us what the problem was on the tracks, they just dumped all 600 people at Hillway and expected everyone to figure it out. Well, some smart soul called the Muni hotline and found out that a Muni ran over a 90 year old pedestrian at 9th, there was a car accident on the tracks at 19th, and there was a transformer out at the beach. Clearly I wasn't getting home. Oh and they were only sending 2 shuttle buses for all those people. One to go up Judah, one to go down. I walked. I walked home. You know how far that is? Let me tell you...44 blocks. I walked 44 blocks home. I saw the accident at 9th, I didn't see anything at 19th, I saw the packed shuttle bus pass me at 23rd, and by the time I crosses 43rd I heard the N pull up behind me on it's tracks and let people off. So frustrating!

And then there was January 16th. Muni, in particular the N again, ran over yet another pedestrian at 28th and killed them. The L apparently only managed to smack into a car and seriously injure 2 people, however that is also in the Sunset so it doesn't really say much for our transportation service does it? I know most people consider this a "Dead End Zone," I just never realized how "dead" it was. I know the mayor wants to improve Muni service, but honestly I don't think his intention was to kill the potential passengers, I'm pretty certain he wanted to just add more trains!

Anyway, I really miss driving my car. I really miss being the only person in the car. I really miss not having to push my way into the car and fight for a hand grip. However, my front tire is too low to drive and I don't have to park Muni. Not to mention I am so getting plenty of exercise this way!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

You asked for it Jenny...

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
a tale of a Museum growing.
That started with a Library
and the space it was employing.

The Director was an ambitious man,
the Board was just the same.
Four Librarians packed up the books
and moved them all away.

And moved them all away.
(sound of rolling book trucks)

The books were very cumbersome,
the archive files were slick.
If not for the strength of the Librarians
the Library would be lost,
the Library would be lost.

The Library moved in its' new home,
a dark and cold sad room,
with the Archivist, the Cataloger,
the Collections Assistant, and their books,
the Volunteers, and the files,
here in the Library!

So this is the tale of Librarians,
they're here for three more years.
They'll have to make the best of things
this place makes us quite scared.

The Archivist and the Collections Assistant
will do their very best,
to make the others comfortable
in their dismal dank dark nest.

No phones! No lights! No Internet!
Not a single luxury,
like Librarians of the 1980's,it's primative as can be.
So join us here each day my friends,
to experience Libraries past,
from three stranded Librarians,
here in our Library!

Monday, January 14, 2008

The Most Miserable Break EVER.

You want to know why Wingal disappeared? Well, she usually does over Christmas, what with the family and all the stress the season brings. But the last three and a half weeks of my life SUCKED. Warning: this will in NO way be "entertaining" in the enjoyable sense of that word.

I arrived home to Cincinnati to discover that, however much I hadn't wanted it to be true, my best little friend of nearly 18 years had been released from the world. Abby was put to sleep on November 27th, two days after I left her; her dementia worsened considerably after I left and it was more than my parents could bear to watch. They didn't tell me by my own request, as I wanted the love of family around me when I learned the news. So, three or four quite miserable days. But I have her ashes and a lock of her hair, and a small but slowly healing hole in my heart.

Then Christmas, which was as nice as it could be, considering the circumstances.

The day after Christmas I came down with a violent stomach flu, so awful and miserable that I was forced to cancel my plane to Chicago and my job interview. Yep. Oh, and I could barely eat for five days. Wonder of wonders, the interviewer called me several days later and I had a phone interview on the 1st, but her questions were odd and unexpected, and the day by which they would set up on-campus interviews came and went with silence.

Then my mom and I went and picked out a cherry-wood box and plaque for Abby's ashes.

Then I had a 24 hour fever/virus thing. And two days later I came down with sinusitis, which viciously turned into a week-long struggle, which then even more viciously turned into a severe inner ear infection, for which I had to go to Urgent Care yesterday and yes, oh yes, cancel my first class of History of the English Language today because I'm STILL IN CINCINNATI recovering from all this diseased misery and taking more medication than anyone should, and totally unfit to operate a motor vehicle or any other large mechanized equipment because of my cough medicine, which contains VICODINE. Tomorrow, I finally drive back to the hell-hole from which I came, where I have to prepare to teach class Wednesday. And where I have merely 1.5 months to write 4 chapters of a dissertation.

You all may want to start calling to check on me periodically, as it's only a matter of time before some other catastrophe occurs.

Hope you all are well. I'm at the "Wish I Were Dead" point, personally.

15 Minutes of Total Boredom

Alright, I need us all to get a little more on the ball with our neglected Midnight Margaritas blog. Except for Erika, who is doing a decent job. I am now an Etsy fan.

So I have been forced to start coming in 15 minutes earlier to work in the mornings for the rest of my forseeable future here, and it doesn't mean that I get to leave 15minutes later. No. It means that I get to have 15 more minutes of lunch. Which pisses me off. Why the hell do I have to sit here for 15 additional minutes every single day during which I accomplish exactly nothing job-related? And no - I refuse to end lunch early. I have my pride.

And that brings me to Midnight Margaritas. I need something to read. Something entertaining and challenging in the way only you ladies can be challenging. Something about muni or Felicia Nimue or gay people. Or possibly all three at once. What an ambitious post that would be!

Is anyone there? Sam, is California still attached to the rest of the continent? Erika, did you have a fun birthday involving lots of chickens? And Laura...once again, the silence of the internet begs the question: Where is Laura? Is she at home? Has a poisonous fog emanated from her dissertation and caused her to collapse in agony on her office floor? (And if so, can we hear the full story?)

Thursday, January 03, 2008

like crack...

As per usual, I'm willing to bet I am the last person to learn about this website, but I have to tell you about www.etsy.com It's all handmade goodies by people from all over the world. And while yeah, there is some crap out there, there is some crazy great things. I have already made a huge wish list and a nice list of artists that I would buy more than once piece if I could. Like this chick called "the black apple," I would buy (and probably will) a lot more of her pieces.