Cake or Death?

PSSWR - mini pt. 2

UPS Kelly is in!! And she promises that, while her boobs are no longer engorged she will flounce them about for us.

Okay maybe she didn't say that, but it makes for a really funny visual.

PSSWR - mini

Wingal and I need a vacation, or at the very least something to look forward to. Therefore we are instituting a mini PSSWR, or PSSWR 2.0 for you librarians.

May 22-25. Three days at a cottage that sleeps 6, $120 per-person if we can get 4 of us ($80pp if we have all 6). Same general location as last year, just a bit closer to Bully Hill. (Seriously they did call me about 2 weeks ago and Dan asked "so when are you and the girls coming back?" Presumably he didn't mean my tits).

Let me know if you're in or thinking about it...

Your presence is requested

Ladies,

Your (our) presence has been requested.

Seriously.

They called me.

Chicken-man, Chicken-man, Chicken-man hold my hand!

The Collection Assistant, being very excited about decorating the library, not only found a 5 ft picture of a man in red pajamas with white pok-a-dots sporting horns, a mustache and beard, and a pitchfork, but also found a black-face chicken-man in a top hat which she brought to the attention of the Assistan Librarian. As the Assistant Librarian surveyed both pictures she was vaugely attracted to the Chicken-man picture..."There's just something about a Chicken-man that's horribly fascinating" Unfortunately for the Chicken-man, his white eyeballs not only creeped out the Assistant Librarian once in place, but also the Head Librarian. And so the Chicken-man, despite his Indigo Girls musical inspiration went back to the office of the Exhibitions Coordinator. Instead of Chicken-man three smaller and less offensive pictures were hung in the back corner by the computer that may or may not ever be hooked up depending on when, if ever, the electrician decides to ACTUALLY show up.

It was with a sigh the Assistant Librarian looked around her library. While all the pictures except the ones the Exhibition Department were framing for her had been hung, the mythical electrican had not shown up. If she had not seen him that first time drilling a messy hole in the bottom of her desk that even Homer, the Library Mouse, could have made neater she might have thought he was one of those mythical beasts. Yes, the Chimera, the Spinx, the Dragon, and the Electrician. "Perhaps" She thought, "only one can exist at one time?" It had been several months since she had seen her dinosaur and he had disappeared almost with a "poof" without so much as a word and strangly he disappeared about the time the Electrician had popped in. "Hummm...I'll have to ask him where he goes when he isn't here." She thought. "Perhaps he belongs to Brigadoon or Shangra-La? Maybe I should call in Pelinor?" Anyway, it didn't matter no one knew where the mythical electrcian was, what he was doing, or when he was coming back. What a mystery!

With the opening of the museum happinging in less than 30 hours there was much to be done. However, despite the time crunch no one seemed particularly concerned. No one was running around hanging anything, no one was cleaning up their mess, and no one was delivering the labels nor the pictures the Assistant Librarian was promised before Saturday. "It's not like those pictures can hang themselves!" And with the Collection's Assistant gone for the day, the Assistant Librarian was on her own to try and hang stuff straight with the aid of a frighteningly tall ladder in a city and building that shook like a bowl of jelly. There was nothing to be done for it. She could not force the exhibitions department to move any faster than they were and she couldn't actually tell anyone what to do. She could only clean up her own mess and perhaps catalog some books in the museum database, file some archival stuff, and stress. Or she could run up the street to get Peet's coffee like the Cataloger. Perhaps, she could do it all and make the day both produtive and less drearly. If only her mp3 player wasn't out of juice. If only her computer was new enough to have a USB port to recharge it. It was a good thing the Exhibitions Coordinator hadn't realized that the Collection Assistant hadn't returned the borrowed boom box yet. It might be a lonely day, but it wouldn't have to be silent.

Dissertating, pt. 2

I gave Larry back the edited chapter. I think it looks much better. . .

Dissertating

Larry had been working very hard on his latest chapter and asked his wife to take a look and do some basic editing. She was excited and said "yes" without hesitation. Though when Larry proudly handed his wife his recenly completed chapter, she began to have her doubts. . .

Jesus Christ! Superstars!!

It was a dark but not even remotely stormy night. I was trying to fall asleep on my futon, mind racing from a day spent freaking the hell out about my dissertation. Basking in the pale green glow of the shamrock lights that adorned my livingroom windows, I lazily flipped channels in an effort to lull myself into sleep-mode. A slip of the finger [read: klutzy moment] and suddenly I had dropped my remote whilst simultaneously (and Oh-so accidentally) turning on the RELIGIOUS channel... the home-access type religious channel. In a panic I groped around on the floor (finding only dust-bunnies), desperate to save myself from "SAVING" myself, when my eye caught on the phrase "Ann Bancroft as Mary Magdalene." I was irrevocably glued. Do you have ANY idea how many fantastic movie stars appeared in Zefferelli's "Jesus of Nazareth"????? It's positively shocking. Go to IMDB and see for yourselves.

Honestly, I just watched the opening credits, jaw ajar; but still, it's completely insane. Even Mel Gibson couldn't get that many famous people to be in a Jesus movie.

Ultimately, I was NOT going to be falling asleep to bitching Pharisees, whining Judas, and a somber and morose Christ... or that ridiculous actor who I really hate but can never remember the name of who played John the Baptist. Instead, I put on a CD of Henry Rollins and fell asleep to his dulcet tones. Pleasant dreams naturally ensued thereafter.

Burn Baby, Burn! Disco Inferno!

And so life in the Muesum continued until one day when the under-qualified, overly gay reception person suddenly noticed the room he now inhabited was dark orange/red. "Sign me up for a pair of Elton John sunglasses and put horns on my head!" He shouted with some enthusiasm. While others standing outside the door wondered at the olive green wall and glass door exposing the red interior and wondered why they suddenly wanted a pimento olive and quite possibly a martini to cope with the recent disaster of color. "Dear God," thought the Assisant Librarian, "who in their right mind would chose such a color?" as she stopped at the recently painted red door with her color swatches of blue. "Well," said the director, "I just think that blue is too cool for that library and you need to warm it up with red, yellow or green." "Green? Is green a warm color?" She asked astounded. "Why yes, in some hues like the one outside it is." And so the Assistant librarian returned to her poorly lit library and stared through the odd green light that eminated from the ceiling and thought to herself "ewww" and dragged the Collection Assistant back over with her to "discuss" the color blue again. And lo, the angles smiled down upon them of the Masters of Library Science and granted unto them the right to paint one alcove blue, albeit not the color they actually wanted, but a good second choice, and the librarians smiled, for although they were laid upon by much guilt in their direction for not chosing red, the librarians were happy and that's all that really mattered that day.

why God exists

My main job here anymore seems to be offering up other websites for my bitches to enjoy. I think it's because I have only a very limited set of ideas and I must use them all on my own blog because otherwise I won't have a blog. And how terrible would that be. So here's a list of arguments for the existance (existence? Why can I suddenly not spell this?) of God that I think is awesome (the very awesomeness of it proving that God exists because only He could create such awesomeness.)

Have fun reading this out loud to passersby while you should be working!