Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Cheap-a-little, cheap-a-little, cheap, cheap, cheap!

My sister-in-law is cheap. I knew this and yet I am constantly amazed as to what new lows of cheapness she can attain when it comes to my birthday.

The first year I was married she graciously got me...nothing. My second year in the family she got me a paperback book off the Oprah book club list. A grand total of $14.00. And this year? This year she gave me a book she pulled off her book shelf which she claims to really love and tossed in a lavender-citrus candle. Several things here....The book was Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale. I HATE Margaret Atwood. Never liked her. I have also been told the book blows royally. Perhaps you've read it and liked it and I'm sorry for my criticism, but after Surfacing I have no desire to read anything else of her's again. And it was used. By her. Not like she went to a used bookstore and said..."What would Sam like?" No, she looked at her bookshelf and thought "what can I get rid of?" In addition, that candle...well I'm not only allergic to lavender essence, not the plant, just the essence, but I'm pretty sure it was something my other sister-in-law gave her that she didn't like. That or she walked the two blocks to TJ Maxx and picked one up for $5. I would have been much happier with NOTHING. Nothing would have been better than the crap she gave me. At least it was all in a nice bag, which she probably received from someone else as well.

On top of all this she changed her birthday party from Saturday to Friday in part to accomodate the fact that if she had it on a Friday afternoon no one would come and they could save money on the food. You know, because we all work durring the time food would be served... Oh the "stop by after work all you 9-5ers" was a load of crap, because they knew, as discussed two days earlier, that we already had plans for Friday, but then it's not like they even sent me an e-vite anyway. I only found out about it from my mother-in-law who thought I should try to go to both parties. I'm sorry, but I would much rather go to my friends' "White Trash" themed party than to some cheap birthday party 40 minutes south of here. Perhaps by having her party on Friday my sister-in-law realized I wouldn't be able to steal back the bottle of wine I gave her for her birthday if I couldn't actually make it there. Foiled again, because honestly I was pissed off enough to try.


Wingal said...

Wow. You wasted good wine on that woman? And by "good" wine I mean any wine at all?

boobarella said...

Dude. No. nononononononononono.

While I think the lavender candle is actually the bigger offense, I agree that it's better to just buy nothing than give crap.

Also you should steal that wine back. Or go to her place drink it and break her shit.

Jenny said...

Awesome. Can I come if you do what Boobarella thinks you should do, Sam? It's not PSSWR, but it might make us both feel better.

boobarella said...

D'oh!! PSSWR 2.0...I actually have to pull out.

oh yeah, I said pull out...

Wingal said...

Way to keep me updated, Boobarella!

And yes, Samantha should by all means go break shit. And drink wine. While breaking shit.