Sunday, August 23, 2009

It Takes a Medieval Village.

While cleaning the house today, I started a pile of all the things that I either needed fixed and a list of things I need to buy more of.

I have three pairs of shoes that either have holes that need to be re-sewn on the side or have their soles replaced. I need to find a cobbler. Do I get one near home? Near the office? I don't know we did some googling that lead me to also realize I need a manicure and while I'm at it on self improvement my roots are past showing and have ventured in to plain silly looking.

Okay, I need a cobbler and a beautician.

But then I moved in to the closet to pull out one of the pairs of shoes that need fixing and I came across four pairs of pants that I HAVE NEVER WORN b/c I need them to be altered. See I bear the cross of being both fat AND short. Not many places, save OldNavy.com (b/c who wants us in the store??) and Lane Bryant have a rack for fat&short. Okay, fine, but now I need a tailor.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, and a tailor.

I got, as Dr. V got to see, an enormous amount of "new to me" jewelry when my mother passed away last year. I really haven't gone through most of it other than to put some of the more special and antique pieces in a lockbox (right next to the internet). When I was at the beach house this past week I picked up some more to add to the pile. While putting everything away I realized I have a number of silver pendants that need to have that ring the chain goes through soldered and a few rings and earrings that I want to have cleaned/appraised. I'll have to head down to jewelers row ....

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, and a jeweler.

I like fun artisanal soaps. I love the way they smell and feel. I don't know why, but I feel cleaner when I can feel the green tea or bay rum, or flax seeds in my soap.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, and soap maker.

My big stinking candles that help keep my house from smelling like Mooch's bunghole are almost gone, I know that Yankee Candle is having a sale, but I don't want to pay for shipping. I'm getting cheap in my old age.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, a soap maker, and a candle stick maker.

Chef is out of yeast, which is a bummer b/c I was hoping for some fresh bread. I love the smell and the taste and it has been so cool here the last two days that a nice warm soup (I have a hankering for clam chowder) and some fresh bread would hit the spot.


I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, a soap maker, a candle stick maker, and a baker.

Oh shit, now that I look I have no wine.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, a soap maker, a candle stick maker, a baker, and a wine monger.

I just found 3 watched w/ dead batteries, and one that needs a few extra links put in before my afore mentioned fat wrist can wear it.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, a soap maker, a candle stick maker, a baker, a wine monger, and a watch maker.

I need a medieval village. A medieval village would have ALL of these things. And they would all be near the money lender and all near the town square and Ye Olde Starbucks. So I could get it all bought and done and get my gossip in with the fishmonger's wife and head home before my husband returns from the fields.

Or, I could just get a car and head to Walmart.



6 comments:

boobarella said...

Jesus, I forgot the pictures I need reproduced and digitized and the stuff I need framed...

Aunt Becky said...

I need to express my love for you. Not many people can make me smile at 4 AM.

She-who-has-received-one-candle-too-many said...

Dude, it's almost christmas, I can send you the stinky candle my sister-in-law no doubt plans to give me. I could also send you the one she gave me last year I'm allergic to. I'll put them in my suitcase and wait for Virginia.

Dr. V (Wingal) said...

Oooooo... Mama SanFranana's coming to Virginana??!!

WOOOOOOO!!!!

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