Sunday, August 23, 2009

It Takes a Medieval Village.

While cleaning the house today, I started a pile of all the things that I either needed fixed and a list of things I need to buy more of.

I have three pairs of shoes that either have holes that need to be re-sewn on the side or have their soles replaced. I need to find a cobbler. Do I get one near home? Near the office? I don't know we did some googling that lead me to also realize I need a manicure and while I'm at it on self improvement my roots are past showing and have ventured in to plain silly looking.

Okay, I need a cobbler and a beautician.

But then I moved in to the closet to pull out one of the pairs of shoes that need fixing and I came across four pairs of pants that I HAVE NEVER WORN b/c I need them to be altered. See I bear the cross of being both fat AND short. Not many places, save OldNavy.com (b/c who wants us in the store??) and Lane Bryant have a rack for fat&short. Okay, fine, but now I need a tailor.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, and a tailor.

I got, as Dr. V got to see, an enormous amount of "new to me" jewelry when my mother passed away last year. I really haven't gone through most of it other than to put some of the more special and antique pieces in a lockbox (right next to the internet). When I was at the beach house this past week I picked up some more to add to the pile. While putting everything away I realized I have a number of silver pendants that need to have that ring the chain goes through soldered and a few rings and earrings that I want to have cleaned/appraised. I'll have to head down to jewelers row ....

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, and a jeweler.

I like fun artisanal soaps. I love the way they smell and feel. I don't know why, but I feel cleaner when I can feel the green tea or bay rum, or flax seeds in my soap.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, and soap maker.

My big stinking candles that help keep my house from smelling like Mooch's bunghole are almost gone, I know that Yankee Candle is having a sale, but I don't want to pay for shipping. I'm getting cheap in my old age.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, a soap maker, and a candle stick maker.

Chef is out of yeast, which is a bummer b/c I was hoping for some fresh bread. I love the smell and the taste and it has been so cool here the last two days that a nice warm soup (I have a hankering for clam chowder) and some fresh bread would hit the spot.


I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, a soap maker, a candle stick maker, and a baker.

Oh shit, now that I look I have no wine.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, a soap maker, a candle stick maker, a baker, and a wine monger.

I just found 3 watched w/ dead batteries, and one that needs a few extra links put in before my afore mentioned fat wrist can wear it.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, a soap maker, a candle stick maker, a baker, a wine monger, and a watch maker.

I need a medieval village. A medieval village would have ALL of these things. And they would all be near the money lender and all near the town square and Ye Olde Starbucks. So I could get it all bought and done and get my gossip in with the fishmonger's wife and head home before my husband returns from the fields.

Or, I could just get a car and head to Walmart.



6 comments:

boobarella said...

Jesus, I forgot the pictures I need reproduced and digitized and the stuff I need framed...

Aunt Becky said...

I need to express my love for you. Not many people can make me smile at 4 AM.

She-who-has-received-one-candle-too-many said...

Dude, it's almost christmas, I can send you the stinky candle my sister-in-law no doubt plans to give me. I could also send you the one she gave me last year I'm allergic to. I'll put them in my suitcase and wait for Virginia.

Wingal said...

Oooooo... Mama SanFranana's coming to Virginana??!!

WOOOOOOO!!!!

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