Yes sir I am aware that my carry-on exceeds the legal limit. Oh, yes I can open my bag. Umm it's called Dream Phone. Dream Phone. No really look at the box. . no I'm not trying to be smart. Yes it's a game for pre-teen girls where you call boys and follow the clues to see who likes you. No I have never been to Tehran. No I don't know the boys actually...well no the game is fiction you call them on the fake pho..NO IT"S NOT A BOMB, jeeesus christ sir, it's a fake phone. Okay can you please uncuff me I'll show you how it works. That's a dial tone. Yeah, cell phones...no I'm not mocking you sir, I realize that you are old enough to be my dad, but you asked a question. Okay so see you dial the number on the phone and then the guy...NO STOP! AGH!! LET GO!! IT"S THE MYSTERY CALLER! Damnit, let me finish, the mystery caller calls with other clues. No I don't know who she is and if she has any ties to Al-Qaida. No, I bit that card because one time when I was playing...yes I have played this before...anyway one time when I was playing that boy gave me no help, but mocked me on the pho...yes I realize that the game is fake and me biting the card seem...well we were drunk and being silly...no sir I do not think your job is a game. Look, it's a harmless game that my girl friends and I are going to play on our PSSWR...no not PISSWAR. It's just an abbriviation...for "point-something-sexybitches. . ." no sir I don't think you are retarded. I just want to go to New York and get drunk with my friends and play Dream Phone. No I'm not going to Manhattan, I'm going to upstate New York...yes there is more state north of Manhattan. No, sir, I did not mean to disrespect you like that. I am sorry.
Now please, believe me, I do not know who the mystery caller is. I wish I did. I wish I did...
3 comments:
DUDE. They are SO going to have all our names in the system before we even get on the plane.
Briiiiiiiiiiiing. Briiiiiiiiiiiiing. "Hey guys! I just heard.... it's not BOB!!!!"
I can see it now... we hand our tickets over and they say, "OHH... ladies, we're going to have to confiscate your "Dream Phone" and your blender for the duration of the flight."
And then they'll have a "Dream Phone"/margarita party in the cockpit and we'll end up landing in Newfoundland.
I bet if we're on a small enough plane we can get the stewardesses to play a round of Dream Phone en route... Or at least put the phone up to the intercom.
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