Friday, December 01, 2006

Vending Machine Madness

So blame in on the cold, blame it on the lactose intolerance, blame it on whatever you like, but I just finished counting all the chip selections in our vending machine at work.

Did you know, out of 15 chip selections 10 of them were cheese? Is there a problem with this country? 10 out of 15 are cheese. There isn't even a plain potato chip in the bunch. There's the jalapeno chip, the barbeque chip, the sour cream and chive, the sun chip, and the steak chip. Is there a reason we need 3 slots for Doritos? 2 for cheezits? A chili cheese fito? And so on and so on? What the bleep? What's with the cheese man! It's not even good cheese! Okay, I'm a professed cheese snob and I don't actually eat chips, but if I did I'd be hard pressed to find one in that vending machine I wanted! Fortunately the ratio of nonchocolate to chocolate in the vending machine is 4 to 6 which is more than fair considering all the bleeping cheese!!! I didn't say it was very good, the candy, it was just not all chocolate which is a good thing. Like I'm going to eat some stale old chocolate when the sour jolly ranchers are all smushy and melted together. Can you imagine the state of the chocolate? Not good. Not good at all and I'm not very fond of chocolate either so I pretty much avoid it at all cost (unless it's German, or dark chocolate, or has some hope of being good!).

I feel better now. Thank you all for being there in my time of outrage.
Cheese Out.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm certainly very concerned. I think we need to do some kind of widespread vending machine survey. I know I find it distressing that ours has four different kinds of peanuts.

Jenny said...

I'd like to express my RELIEF that we don't have a vending machine. We have a fridge stocked with bottled water, Coke, and Dr. Pepper with a jar to put money in. And the occasional bowl of stale Chex Mix on the table in the kitchen. And that's just fine by me.

sam said...

Well la de da! I wish we were so lucky, but we're not. It's cheese, cheese, cheese! And not even good cheese. Has doritos ever considered making a smoked gouda cheese chip? Huh? Huh? I tell you I'd buy that. However, I was the only one buying the pickle flavored chips...so I might be outnumbered anyway.

boobarella said...

I dunno dude, my building has a whole little convenient store in it...

and a starbucks, and a chinese place, and a california pizza kitchen....

Anonymous said...

I love California Pizza Kitchen! Their salads are awesome.

Jenny said...

We have a fridge that makes noises that I swear sound EXACTLY like someone stuffed Chewbacca into the vegetable bin. It's no California Pizza Kitchen.

sam said...

Grrr....cheese crap! It's just so not fair. And yesterday I tried to put money into it and the vending machine wouldn't take my money. What? Am I not good enough for it? I swear it reads this blog!