Friday, January 12, 2007

Merry Christmas Cookie!

So my sister, in her infinate luck, was on t.v recently. You might have seen her since it was on like um CNN? Oh sure, this stuff never happens to me, just her. Poor me. Lucky her. My life sucks. So there she was, out of a job, forced to move back in with mom and dad, so what does Cookie do? She joins the church choir. La de da you say? Humph! Well, so she joins the choir, former President Ford dies and guess what church he gets burried in? My parents' church. So Cookie got to sing for Ford's funeral after some extreme background checking by Secret Security! She was so close to political power she could have spat on it! And it gets better. She was the last choir member in. She sat in the FRONT ROW. The front row. THE FRONT ROW!!! She made the news. She made the paper. She may be holding down 2 part-time teaching jobs, but she's been on CNN and in the Grand Rapids Free Press. My claim to fame is that I know her and that the priest who performed the funeral married my husband and I. Oh the thrill. I wonder if I would have been a security threat, you know, being a rabid librarian from the west coast and all? Worst thing is, I'm going to be hearing about this for the rest of my life. Every chance she'll get she'll just slip it into conversation. She'll be 98 in the nursing home and I'll be laying next to her in my cot (because I'll be 102 and I'm pretty sure at that point I won't be doing much of anything) and she'll be rambling on about how she got to sing for Pres. Ford's funeral. This may be the only thing she'll remember at 98 and I'll be like "Hey you old bat, stop with the funeral story. Why are you telling me anyway? I don't know you!" (I'm also assuming by the time I'm 102 I'll be pretty senile myself). Oh God. I can barely co-exist with her for 3 days without fighting with her. If I have to room with her in the nursing home I might just consider "adjusting" her medication. Maybe that's not such a good idea...the nursing home thing anyway. Yeah, I think I'd like to keep my sanity. That's a good plan. I'll have to remember that if I live to be 102 I'll not be rooming with my sister. But then who knows what crazy I'll get. I don't know why I'm suddenly worried about this. Maybe my husband will be alive still? Better make him cut back on the fat if I don't want to room with Cookie! Although Cookie is better than any Heather I might ever get!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

mmm...cookie...

Anonymous said...

Why WHY does everyone have to have a Heather anyway?

Anonymous said...

And does anyone actually know that Wingal is still among the living?

Anonymous said...

Those are my thoughts. Come to think of it, they're not totally reelvant to the conversation.

sam said...

That's okay, I'm beginning to suspect Wingal has "runned off" to Barbados or Iceland or something. It's been so long since I heard a swarm boy story...oh wait that's Lisa's new teritory since he MOVED! Yay for Wingal! Hey! There's no reason for her to run off to Barbados! I don't care if she does have a dissertation to write! That's not a reason to run away. Swarm boy was a reason, but not the dissertation.

sam said...

And "Cookie" Jenny is so that I do not get into deep water at ANY point down the line because the wrath of Cookie is frightening indeed. I live in fear of it, my parents live in fear of it, and her boyfriend lives in fear of the wrath of the Cookie...Monster. It's deadly serious. Talk to Wingal when you locate her.

Anonymous said...

Let's be serious here, Sam. There's ALWAYS a reason to run off to Barbados.

For example, your reason might be Cookie. Apparently.

Boobarella said...

I could totally run off right now. Let's get a mission together to go find Wingal. And if it turns out she's infact not in Barbados, well we can have a few drinks and laugh about it while the pool boys fan us.

theswain said...

Fezziwig says he's ready to go anytime you guys are.

sam said...

Hey, I've got a new piece of information. Did you know Cheney's feet can't touch the ground? I don't know why, but he made the church take out a concrete pillar so he could drive up to the back door or they'd have had to build a 70 ft bridge over it. Is he allergic to dirt? Grass? Or is heading for some strange divinity thing....think about it. His feet can't touch the ground. What does Washington look like I wonder? Barbados here I come!!