Thursday, January 04, 2007

Would My Dog Eat This?

Okay, so my mother left a home decorating magazine for my viewing pleasure when she left after the holidays, and upon finishing my perusal, I happened to flip it over to the back cover.

What I saw was...whatever this horrifying thing is that has attached itself to this poor, otherwise relatively attractive woman's neck.

Ahem. Let me read you a bit from the ad:

"I saw a gorgeous sunset that reminded me of some yarn I had been given years ago. With my Janome Xpression needle punch felter, I turned my memory into something unforgettable."

Yeah. No shit.

Okay, first of all...wha-, I-, ya-, nrgh-


Do sunsets resemble multicolored barf with unidentifiable fuzz and the half-digested remains of strangely colored bumblebees interspersed among the chunks in your necks of the woods? Because they certainly don't here in the great Southwest.

And even if they did, we certainly wouldn't be inclined to tie them jauntily around our necks.

I feel bad for this woman. Her modeling career really doesn't seem to be going all that well.

Oh well. I'm off to purchase my new Janome Xpression needle punch felter. Next year's Christmas presents are in the bag, baby.


sam said...

Wait a minute! I've seen that sunset somewhere before....yes, I think it was in a movie, like a really bad one about an apocalyptic bomb going off in the Nevada desert. How else would you explain it? It isn't natural I tell you. And boy howdy am I glad I'm not in you family! If I wore that thing in SF...Holy dachshunds! There's a HUGE market for that thing in the Castro district. Rainbow flags around the neck...Clearly the woman making it is still in the closet!

Anonymous said...

If she's going to wear it, she should probably STAY in the closet.

Boobarella said...

wait, someone made that on purpose?

lila said...

I barfed on my favorite pillow yesterday!

joanne said...

Hey, I'm from Malaysia, and I was looking for a person by the name Kevin Causgrove and Google lead me here. Haha. I tried to search for him on MSU but in vain. Am wondering if the Kevin you know is the one I know too? Been looking for a way to keep in touch cause his email kept bouncing off. Thankies!

sam said... one's heard from our Causgrove in years. Last we heard he was still in Midland with an electronic tether. Wingal was the last to talk to him and that was over 4 years ago. He might have finally gone to film school in NY for all we know!

ashkenne said...

Film school? Woowwww.

Hmm. Just need to double check. The Causgrove I know's been desribed has green eyes, curly auburn coloured looking hair. And he used to lecture in MSU.