Monday, August 13, 2007

Adventures in Air-Conditioning

So, I don't usually name my a/c units, but now that the one in the livingroom is dead I think he should be named. Hmmm....

Elmer died. Actually, Elmer's been dead for the last two weeks (which makes it even more disgusting that I've left him hanging in the livingroom window). Because I hope to remove myself from Sad Loser, Misery next May/June, I really didn't want to spring $170 for Elmer's replacement. I thought that perhaps I could survive the next month and a half with dead Elmer... but Ma'am Nature isn't cooperating. It's supposed to be over 100 degrees every day this week with equally awful humidity. So Kami and I went in search of... a new Elmer. Lowe's had none. Home Depot had none. Walmart had one that would never fit in my window. Target had one that was $169 and, because I'm cheap, I refused it. KMart had a ton of them but the cheapest was $169 and, as I've already mentioned, I'm cheap. Frustrated and miserable from having to be out in the weather for so long, Kami and I went to Dairy Queen and had enormous chocolate-strawberry sundaes in waffle bowls. Because our mood was greatly improved, we went to Best Buy where they had 8 a/c units, the cheapest one at $115 (but only big enough to cool a room the size of my shoe). The next cheapest was $159, so I just had to suck it up and purchase Elmer II. He has yet to be installed. I'm hoping my Viking friend Eirikr will be able to do the job when he returns to town today or tomorrow.

Anyway, Elmer II having been purchased and it being 9:45 at night, I dropped Kami off at her house and headed to my own... halfway there, my phone rang. "Umm... can you come back here?" Kami asked. I could tell by her voice that something was wrong. As it turned out, something WAS wrong... her back door was open, her diningroom light was on, her attic door was open, and her attic light was on. In other words, her house had every appearance of having been broken into. After getting caught behind some drag-racers who were VERY annoyed that people like myself kept coming near them in such a position as would allow us to report them to the police, they sped off and I got to Kami's where we waited for the unusually competent Sad Loser, Misery Po-Po to show up about ten minutes later. They did a walk through, but found nothing (though they commented that she had quite the load of cash on her washer). Then they went to check out the drag-racers I told them about. After checking under all the beds ourselves, I left Kami there freaking out enough to want me (and we all know how high maintenance I am) to stay the night. Um, no. But she didn't want to stay in my dead-Elmer livingroom (not that I blame her), so she called another friend to come over and I returned home to my miserable apartment and my dying-of-starvation cat who, once fed, continued to badger, yell, and swat at me for the next hour as punishment for feeding him a half hour late.

By the way, you will be happy to know that Kami was not bludgeoned to death in her sleep that night. I called to check.


boobarella said...

That sucks dude...I'll think of you this week. I'm in NY at my parents house. The high today was 73 with a ncie breeze off the lake.

yeah...I'll be on the porch if you need me.

Jenny said...

You know what sucks? Boobarella being next to a lake where it's 73 degrees. It's not right!!

We aren't suffering quite as much as you, Wingal, but I know your misery. The other day at 103 (and still monsoon humidity in the air), the swamp cooler snapped a belt around 3:00 in the afternoon. Not that it was working all that well anyway. Argh.

But, well, it's finally drying up a little here, so you're still probably suffering more than we are. This kind of thing seems like a summer theme in St. Louis, doesn't it?

sam said...

63 degrees and foggy. Yes, perhaps I've forgotten what the sun looks like and I now practically glow in the dark I'm so pale, but at least I'm cool. Way cool. So cool, I'm wearing wool and my toes are cold.

boobarella said... was down in the 50s here last night so I feel your cold Sam!

Wingal said...

Oh, y'all go kiss my sweaty ass!