Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Things I had forgotten about childhood and other sundries.

I sadly have not dropped off the face of the earth, I've just been assembling baby furniture. I somehow failed to recall despite the very long and shared experience of assembling that Barbie Corevette with my sister years ago that most childhood items seem to have "some assembly required". The good news? The good news is that most assemble it yourself furniture now comes with it's own allen wrench and bolt tightener. What they don't seem to have is the plethora of batteries it takes to make each thing do their "thang". Yes, I just finished assembling one item that require 3 C batteries only to assemble another item that need 2 AA and 1 D battery. It's a conspiracy I tell you! I just know it is. Just like I know I'm going to get a nasty note from the recycling guy telling me I can't put anything larger than a pizza box in the recycling including a pizza box, because that actually goes in the compostable bin because it has food on it. And yet they take yoghurt and milk containers in the recycling. I don't actually see the difference, but apparently there is one and they monitor those cans pretty closely. Have I mentioned yet that my garbage is actually full of packing foam and I haven't even emptied the household trash yet? No? Well, it is. Worse yet, last week the homeless woman who uses our library to watch videos asked me if I was just fat or pregnant. I wanted to ask her if her unusually large forehead was natural of just plastic (because it looks like plastic or rubber and it's why we call her "forehead lady"). Since I've only managed to gain 20 lbs I don't think I look fat and I'm now less inclined than ever to help her find her stupid Russian ballet videos. The toad. Not to mention my work just hired back the woman I replaced to replace me while I go on maternity leave. This does not make for a comfortable situation if you ask me. Suddenly everyone seems to want my low paying menial job. Fan-tast-ic. However, I'm pretty sure she was let go for incompetence/personality issues and just couldn't hack it at an academic institution because the day she gave her two weeks notice they told her to pack up her stuff and leave and then posted her job position all in the same day. Sounds fishy, n'est pas?

Anyway, I'd attach a clever picture or something to this post, but my internet is down at home AGAIN and Mr. Fix-it doesn't seem concerned enough to do anything about it despite the fact I need it for many things like my weekly medical appointments. Oh no, he's too busy building a pull out for the t.v. that's going to fall over in the first earthquake we have and kill me and our child. He spent a whole day on that. A whole day, and yet there were so many other things he could have been doing like, finishing painting, or putting his clothes away, going to goodwill and dropping stuff off, but no...he set up the two new t.v.'s he just had to have. I didn't want either. So I bought a lamp. HA! Take that! Stupid t.v. is too big for the cabinet anyway. Too big for the room. Too big for me. Piece to total...well you get my feeling on that particular subject.

Mean while, Muni has been oddly reliable and an unusually polite experience of late. Go figure.

4 comments:

Jenny said...

Sorry about Muni. Thank god you've still got Forehead Lady and too many tv's!

sam said...

Dude, Forehead Lady just left. Does she have to come in every day?

Wingal said...

I'm really jealous, because I have no Forehead Lady. We just have some guy who thinks he's a member of the Rat Pack who stands around outside our building wearing three-piece pinstriped suits in a variety of colors--always with matching fedora--and smoking cigars, while talking with his Philosophy students. I mean, that doesn't even BORDER on Forehead Lady-crazy. Jealous, I say. Jealous.

sam said...

Oh, we had a 3 piece pinstriped suit guy the first month I had this job. However, it was the same suit every day so I'm not really sure when he cleaned it, if ever. We called him "Hotel" guy because he has the same whole name as one of the hotels around here. But it you all are really good I'll work my way up to a whole post on "Smelly-Cat Frumpkin"...