Cons**r*cy The*ries

The last thing I want is to use any key words or phrases that will draw the attention of those sexy b*tches in Hom**and Sec**ity. (From now on, we'll call them Homies - or, better yet, Ho***s.) Lord knows, Midnight Margaritas has enough problems without a government crackdown. However, it occurs to me that this most recent thwarted plan to bl*w up planes over the Atlantic has actually hit us right where it hurts the most: our carry-on luggage. There are people right now in the middle of TRANSATLANTIC FLIGHTS WITHOUT CARRY-ON LUGGAGE. Or bottles of water. (Or, apparently, lipstick - but I don't really get that part. I don't know what kind of b*mb you'd be able to make with a tube of Lava Love Red, other than, maybe, a sex-b*mb.) How much suffering is going on as we speak? It must be BRUTAL. And with the current state of American hysteria surely racheting itself up a notch, it's exactly the impetus the government needs to finally ban carry-on luggage for good. For our own good, of course. It makes me wonder if bl*wing things up was really the goal and if Al Qu**da was really the perpetrator. Or, alternatively, if the plot was actually successful, and Al Qu**da is a GENIUS. All I know is, I have no desire to get anywhere near a pl*ne any time soon and it has very little to do with b*mbs.