Monday, October 01, 2007

Random Observations

Four things are distressing me this Monday morning:

1. No matter how early I get to school, I have still accomplished virtually NOTHING by the time I have to go assist with the Old English class at 1:10.

2. Some anonymous person labeled the picture of Cedric I posted in my cubicle: "Portrait of Gertrude Stein's Cat." And last I checked I was decidedly NOT Gertrude Stein.

3. The smell of the English Department's powdered creamer for the coffee was familiar to me; unfortunately, when I realized a while later that the smell was familiar because it was exactly like the smell of pet store fish food, I had to spit all my coffee back into my mug and try hard to keep breakfast from rejoining me on my desk.

and 4. There's a long-lost member of the "Rat Pack" who sits outside our building every morning, wearing some sort of pin-striped three-piece suit and a fodora, and smoking a cigar. EVERY DAY. He's a GRADUATE STUDENT. Let's face it, what distresses me most about it is that I feel I ought to start dressing like Grace Kelly or Audrey Hepburn or something... I need a shitty printed dress and a vagina hat, clearly. Then when I approach the building he can call me "doll-face" and I can have low self-esteem, overly red lipstick, and a secretarial job.


boobarella said...

A note on Powdered Creamer:

That stuff is nasty. I don't care how desperate I am, I will NOT use that. I would rather go coffee-less then put that evil thing in me. I'm pretty convinced that it causes cancer

Wingal said...

I KNOW... but then, you should taste this coffee, man. I only drink it when I'm desperate, and if you'd seen me this morning, you would have hooked me to an i.v.

Jenny said...

At the cabin we stayed in this summer during the field school, I opened the 1940s-style non-functional fridge and found in the back a pink box of hand wipes from the 1950s or 60s. Girlie, scrolly script indicated that the hand wipes were SPECIFICALLY meant for secretaries. Good for wiping off ink and such, I guess. If you start dressing like Audrey Hepburn and wearing vagina hats, I think you should carry around a box of secretaries' hand wipes too. Just in case.