Obligatory Year End Blog Post

Everyone else was doing a year end post and I thought OMG WE need an year end post!  But about what?  The newest addition born out in CA, about Jenny's boy becoming one of us (goople gopple), about Wingal getting a big girl job, about Mooch's wenis, about Bully Hill sending me a note b/c they hadn't heard from me in a while and were getting worried, about the planning of the upcoming PSSWR '10.

Decisions, decisions.

Then the internets gave me something that reminded me of new beginnings, of finding old friendships and making them new again, about treasuing your bestest buds forever...

That's right, Ann M. Martin is writing new Baby Sitters Club books.

Happy New Years, Ladies.  Much love to all of you and here's hoping we all get to get our Claudia on.

You can thank me later

All Hail!!!

Mother of Hell

Done.

I am fucking done.

Now here's hoping that 11 and a half pages counts as 12 pages....I mean who says 1.5 spacing and not double space. That is ludicrous, and not the fun kind. I mean jesus. Part of it's my fault: silly me picked the one archive with no preservation issues.

So I'm now done, turned it in and I have some things I need to post before I get backt o regular posting which I will do with a vengeance now that I have nothing else to keep my attention.

Okay thing 1 - from Twitter:

#2) from Amazon.com: gourmet shake n' bake, y'all!

#3) THE MOST BESTEST XMAS GIFTS EVER:

5lbs of Mellowcreme pumpkins IN DECEMBER.

Jenn & Mark are awesome.

I would show you the kick ass bacon we got too, but we already did some damage on that beast.

it's your birthday, Laura!

Sandra Lee can suck it.

Semi Homemade my ass! I opened a can of pie filling, dumped it in a frozen shell, covered it with the other frozen shell, put it in the oven for 20 mins, and covered it with Cool Whip.

The only thing "home made" about this pie is the fact that I did it in my own kitchen.

Get off my back already!

I know I know I know!  It's been about a month since the video went up and we have yet to name a winner!  Dr. V. & I are working on it, but jobby-jobs and real life got in the way.  Besides, do you know how hard it is to sing all those suggestions??

contest,you suck,I'm busy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNY, Pt. II

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNY

RAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRR!

Defending my shitty music

I was doing some homework tonight, it's all I really do these days, and listening to my shitty music on random. Mandy Moore followed Joni Mitchell and I was dumbfounded how much alike they sound.

Fashion 101

These jeans are too tight

These are muumuus.

Pants being too tight is not fashionable, it means your pants are too tight.

House dresses are called house dresses b/c they are meant to be worn IN THE HOUSE.

Thank you.

IT'S MELLOWCREME PUMPKIN TIME!!

My favorite moment from last night's speach

This was the best look of "what/who the fuck was that" I have ever seen. And it's done in triplicate like any good government form would be.

This one time at band camp....

On the train this morning my unpredictable ipod gave me a Tori Amos retrospective.

Once upon a time, I went to band camp. That's what you do when you're 17 and play bassoon. Being a bassoonist at band camp meant nothing fun happens b/c you form a click with the other people who play your instrument and bassoonists are all very smart and boring people. We tend to hang out with the viola players and bass clarinetists, who like us, have taken up an unconventional instrument that colleges drool over, and not with those crazy oversexed flautists who are a dime a dozen.

I met some really great & fun people there. One of them was a camp counselor who was working on her BFA in Music from Ithaca College. In fact it was because of her 5 people, including myself, from the bassoon studio eventually went to IC. But, one of the viola players we hung out with was my roommate Jennifer. I don't remember her last name, but she was a short thin thing from downstate with huge frizzy hair. Jen wanted to learn how to play piano while we were there (we all had the opportunity to try something new, I chose the oboe, one of the percussionists chose the skin flute) and decided she was going to learn with a Tori Amos song. I had never heard of Tori. Upstate NY was still in the grips of grunge and metal. I was a Nirvana fan and a devoted follower of the Church of Vedder. But by the time I left Potsdam two weeks later I knew every word, moan, and bridge to every song on both Little Earthquakes and Under the Pink. I lost touch with Jen a long time ago, but I have still bought or burned all of Tori's albums as well as many bootlegs as I could get my hands on. In fact, I also have to date my adoration of covers to this. I had a tape of a concert in Berlin that has Tori singing "Summertime" from Porgy & Bess. That bootleg is the reason I have an a cappella version of "Baby Got Back."

So, Jen, wherever you are, thank you. Thank you for introducing me to an artist that has fundamentally shaped my tastes in music.

Spam from Ralph Wiggum

I got some awesome spam today-

Subject: Magic berry that will make you look like a princes

Make me look like a princes? I will look like two dudes?

Or will I look like two Princes?

Because if that is what happens if I eated the magic berries, these should be outlawed. That is too much hot n' sexy for any one (or dual persona) to handle.

It Takes a Medieval Village.

While cleaning the house today, I started a pile of all the things that I either needed fixed and a list of things I need to buy more of.

I have three pairs of shoes that either have holes that need to be re-sewn on the side or have their soles replaced. I need to find a cobbler. Do I get one near home? Near the office? I don't know we did some googling that lead me to also realize I need a manicure and while I'm at it on self improvement my roots are past showing and have ventured in to plain silly looking.

Okay, I need a cobbler and a beautician.

But then I moved in to the closet to pull out one of the pairs of shoes that need fixing and I came across four pairs of pants that I HAVE NEVER WORN b/c I need them to be altered. See I bear the cross of being both fat AND short. Not many places, save OldNavy.com (b/c who wants us in the store??) and Lane Bryant have a rack for fat&short. Okay, fine, but now I need a tailor.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, and a tailor.

I got, as Dr. V got to see, an enormous amount of "new to me" jewelry when my mother passed away last year. I really haven't gone through most of it other than to put some of the more special and antique pieces in a lockbox (right next to the internet). When I was at the beach house this past week I picked up some more to add to the pile. While putting everything away I realized I have a number of silver pendants that need to have that ring the chain goes through soldered and a few rings and earrings that I want to have cleaned/appraised. I'll have to head down to jewelers row ....

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, and a jeweler.

I like fun artisanal soaps. I love the way they smell and feel. I don't know why, but I feel cleaner when I can feel the green tea or bay rum, or flax seeds in my soap.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, and soap maker.

My big stinking candles that help keep my house from smelling like Mooch's bunghole are almost gone, I know that Yankee Candle is having a sale, but I don't want to pay for shipping. I'm getting cheap in my old age.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, a soap maker, and a candle stick maker.

Chef is out of yeast, which is a bummer b/c I was hoping for some fresh bread. I love the smell and the taste and it has been so cool here the last two days that a nice warm soup (I have a hankering for clam chowder) and some fresh bread would hit the spot.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, a soap maker, a candle stick maker, and a baker.

Oh shit, now that I look I have no wine.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, a soap maker, a candle stick maker, a baker, and a wine monger.

I just found 3 watched w/ dead batteries, and one that needs a few extra links put in before my afore mentioned fat wrist can wear it.

I need a cobbler, a beautician, a tailor, a jeweler, a soap maker, a candle stick maker, a baker, a wine monger, and a watch maker.

I need a medieval village. A medieval village would have ALL of these things. And they would all be near the money lender and all near the town square and Ye Olde Starbucks. So I could get it all bought and done and get my gossip in with the fishmonger's wife and head home before my husband returns from the fields.

Or, I could just get a car and head to Walmart.

PSSWR 2010: Virginana

The preliminary email has been sent out to the core group--from which the spider-web of invites will spring forth--but, as the official hostess (for this venture the Head Hostess of the Margarita Girls Four), I thought I should be the one to make the web announcement that we will be having our Point-Something Sexybitches Winetastic Roadtrip (PSSWR) at my little Sanctuary in Virginia, May 26 to WHENEVER (but we'll say 30th), 2010.

(Though the place will be better titled "The Skanktuary" while you all are here, I have no doubt.)

The point of the "Point-Something"ness of our title is quite simple: the whole thing should be viewed as a collective birthday party... whether you'll be 33.468 like me (yes, I did the math) or some other point-something, the idea is that we get to celebrate life with a bunch of our girlfriends in a way we might not really get to celebrate it on our actual birthdays. And the Sexybitches part and Winetastic part and Roadtrip part... they each speak for themselves.

REASONS TO COME:

It's really damn pretty. Within a short walk of the Sanctuary you can see this lovely path (about a five-minute walk from my door) [and my thanks to Jess McCormick for most of the following pics];


...this first pond (about a ten-minute walk), where the sunsets are beautiful and lots of people go fishing;



...this second pond (about a fifteen-minute walk), where we can go swimming, canoeing, etc.;


...gorgeous flowering trees all over campus (lots of magnolias, too, though they're not in bloom yet and so aren't nearly as pretty as the ones pictured below);


...and one hell of a sunset. This is a nice 40-minute walk from my place and is right over by the paddocks for the horses. I was just there the other night at sunset and had the opportunity to pet a few horses and see at least a dozen deer as dusk fell on my lovely new home.


Off-campus, we can drive out to any one of the many wineries in the area. And though Mandy, my GPS-bitch, may get us lost once or twice (KERBOPPLETOP!), the views are worth the travel mishaps:







Also, on-site entertainment will be provided:



In other words, there are lots of amazing, relaxing, fun, and memorable reasons to come, so SAVE THE DATES!!!!

MAY 26-30, 2010

The airports to consider flying into are as follows (from closest to furthest): Lynchburg, VA (30 min); Charlottesville, VA (50 min); and Richmond, VA (about 3 hours... I know, I know...). Travel details, airport shuttling, and carpooling opportunities can be discussed further when we get nearer to the time of PSSWR and have some sense of how many and which women are attending. Please RSVP one of the Margarita Girls or post a comment!

We want you to come and we know you want to come. So, GET HERE!

I know that I won't be happy unless I have a Bevy of Bitches in Brigadoon...

Wingal Out

My View. . .if the door is open

North Korean Beer Ad.

I don't get much time to listen to the news. Living in fake time, the news is over with by the time I get home. But today I have the day off thanks to a bunch of heathens writing a piece on freedom & shoving it in the face of some guys who tried to govern a large landmass and its people before the googles existed, so I got to listen to the news on NPR.

BBC did a short piece on North Korea and their first beer ad. Understandably I had to go find this ad. It is more a beer plant tourism ad then anything and the music made me happy! And the ad says that the Pride of Pyongyang will "help ease stress."

YAY BEER!

"an inbred hillbilly with knife skills."

A hilarious open letter to James Thatcher, Brand Manager, Proctor & Gamble.

Speaking of...

Boob Emancipation!

housekeeping

So... I was looking at Ye Olde Bloge today and I think I'm gonna chance it up a bit. All the wasted space on the left and right bugs the shit out of me when I'm being a bad employee and playing with the blog on my huge ass screen at work. I promise to keep the same feel (plenty of wine, my boobs, and general debauchery) and same general color scheme.

Thus, any concerns or requests or demands? Please have them in by 7pm on Friday 6/19/09.

xoxo

me.

STOP!

Mormon Time!

For Wingal

I think you might need to do this with one of your many closets at the new skanktuary.


How to convert a closet into a mini wine cellar - More DIY How To Projects

A few things

See the post below? It's the pre-party for the BlogHer conference here in Chicago. You have a months notice. Come as you are baby.

See the banner on the right? Donate to save "Paste" an awesome music magazine. Donate and get 70 140+ free downloads. All sorts of musicians and kinds of music!! Rare cuts!! Including a live cut of Over the Rhine doing "Love Hurts."

GPS

PSSWR: Deliverance... Wednesday's Quotes

"I paid for my whore... I flew her in, I put her up, I'm gonna feed her ass... she is MINE." - Wingal re: boobarella

"He's a tool. He's an awl. You know... one of those tools everyone has but nobody knows what it's for?" - boobarella

"Then we can turn her on and take her back to the motel." - re: Mandy the Tom-Tom voice

"You know you want to belong to the Church of Fried Chicken." - Wingal
"Yes... because the offering comes in Crispy or Original Recipe." - boobarella

"I'm just a tubby white girl from Upstate New York with no rhythm and who can apparently kill Mothra." - boobarella
"That should be on your resume." - Wingal

"If I get on-campus housing, you are NOT peeing in the woods... you're gonna use indoor plumbing and you're gonna like it." - Wingal


Seen Near Lynchburg:


That's right... it's a shirtless guy driving a riding lawnmower with a trailer holding a wheelchair. On a main thoroughfare. Welcome home, Wingal... welcome home.

PSSWR: Deliverance... Tuesday's Quotes

During the Drive and at the Inn:

"Boobarella... Do you have to pee?" - improvised Tom-Tom voice

"Ooo, Perkins... they have Mammoth Muffins." - Wingal
"So do I." - boobarella

"I've got sugar between my thighs!" - Wingal

"Am I gonna let you lean over me, put your tits in my face, and move it? NO!" - boobarella to Wingal

"I love how there are crackers and wrappers all over the floor." - boobarella
"Crackers and Rappers?" - Wingal

"Hey, I can swallow it... it's not a taste issue, it's a texture issue." - Wingal (on pasta)


Pre-Drive Texting about Tom-Tom voices:

"The voice is Mandy. Dave sounded like a smug bastard" - Wingal
"I want to hear Dave b/c he might be good if we are men bashing." - boobarella
"There's also a voice named Dick... er, Richard." - Wingal
"Dick! Yes!" - boobarella
"He's very computery." - Wingal
"Blah, I want Ricardo Montalban." - boobarella
"That might cause lots of accidents for, um, distracted female drivers." - Wingal
"Can you imagine: 'my darling, take a left in about, say, 300 feet." - boobarella
**drives off road** - Wingal
"'My darling, you seemed to have changed routes, let me recalculate for you while you regain your composure.'" - boobarella

googles

I have a cold

doo doo da doo

Drinking vodka b/c I have no cough medicine

doo doo da doo

no healthy food!

doo doo da doo

but I do have a lime in my drink

doo beep bop poo dow

French toast for dinner!

w00t!

Seriously I googles "french toast & vodka" and that was the picture I got.

PSSWR: Appalachia

Wingal & Boobarella will be heading through West Virginia and western Virginia, June 2-6.  PSSWR Appalachia will feature angry driving music and some homemade wine.  Along the way we may find Wingal a new skanktuary to call home.

It's not too late to sign up for this exciting adventure!  Want to come along?  Meet us at "baggage claim"

 June 2, 9:30am.

Star Trek

Excuse me a moment while I wax poetic about Star Trek

There are few sounds in this universe that illicit an emotional response from me like that of the dulcet opening tones of a lone french horn.  Like the familiar smells of a mother's home cooking, those were the sounds that welcomed us back to the 23rd century.  

It is a different cast; this is not your mom's James T. Kirk.  Christopher Pine has that rash quickness that the Shatner/Kirk of the original series did; not like the campy Kirk of movies 3-6. Pine kicked ass, took names, and nailed a green chick in minute 20.  Truly, you watched him kick some ass in an IA bar and thought, yeah that would work and I would have still taken his bloody ass home and screwed him b/c he's Kirk and jesus who wouldn't hit that?  Kirk is still very much King Arthur: dashing & rash yet able to save the world and instill faith in the empire.

They were all there: Sulu, Chechov, Uhura, Spock, Scotty, the ship's computer....Majel recorded it 2 weeks before she died.  But Bones!  OH!  Now that was a character study.  Part of the problem with doing a movie like this is we all over the old guys and know how they should sound and act.  So you have these people stuck between recreating the characters but staying true to themselves and yet having to reflect what has been done and the styles of those before them. DeForest Kelley created the cantankerous old bastard, and Karl Urban did him a fine tribute.  

But really, the best parts were the wee nuggets and inside jokes that the producers/director left in for the true fans.  The guy in the red suit bites it just when he should, Sulu fencing, the Kobayashi Maru,  and catch phrases galore. 

Also, best use of Beastie Boys "Sabotage" in a movie. Ever. 

Oh, and Spock gets some ass.

Packing

Wingal had been terribly distracted when trying to pack for her trip to Kalamazoo.  But imagine her surprise when she got to her hotel room and found that she had packed the entirely wrong Viking costume. . . 

Happy May 5th

I can't spell the holiday, and in order to keep Mexican-American relations at their current high state, I won't attempt to do it.

Thus:


Anyway, I wanted to tell you kids about my new toy!  It's a Fast Dry Nail Color Pen!  I'm a total girl!  I painted my nails!  But with a PEN!

I love this!  Now granted I want to write all over the walls with is and sign my name on a  pug butt á la Xavier Roberts, but I am holding back.  

Just barely holding back....hey Fez...where are you going so fast.....

2009 Kentucky Derby

While I finish getting dressed for the 135 running of the Kentucky Derby and the help finished making the canapés and pitchers of mint juleps (Merle's rule: no G&T's until Mother's Day - it's like the no white pants after Labor Day thing), I need to make my final picks for Show, Place, & Win.

Since the passing of my betting partner, Bob (he picked the Wins 4 yrs in a row, including the long shot Go to Gin) I have occasionally placed my bets on name alone.  That paid off last year with "Big Brown," but I'm not being grabbed by "Papa Clem" or "Mine That Bird," or "Advice." "Friesan Fire" is a maybe, but the jockey's jersey is boring though he has some of the better odds (13/2) in the pack.  "Desert Party" looks good too; he's from the UAE and owned by Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al Maktoum, the United Arab Emirates Vice President, Prime Minister and Ruler of Dubai. And at 20/1 the pay out would be nice.

LOL!  Listen to me!  This is hysterical!  Really I'll maybe bet $5 and I'll be standing on the couch yelling with a beer in my hand and a whole different kind of vagina hat on my head.

Narcotics + Pug = hilarious

Oddly this is a post about me and the vet and crazy drugs for one of the pugs that will in no way involve me mentioning Mooch's wenis.

That right there is a stoned Fezziwig.  Poor guy woke up Saturday with a hacking cough that only got worse as the day went on.  Since we had a cat that had a hacking cough then passed away, we were admittedly a tad more quick to take the pug to the pug hospital.  After asking how Mooch was hanging these days, the vet checked out Fezzi and determined that it wasn't cancer causing him to cough.  It could have been one of a few things, so she gave us a 'script for Clavamox (I am seriously considering buying stock in that company we have so much of that in the house) and for Torbutrol.  Torbutrol, the vet told us, might cause my tubby love to be lethargic and drink a lot of water. 

Lethargic was an understatement.  That picture is of poor Fezzi after he got off the couch and looked around the room having obviously forgotten why he got down in the first place. We took him outside . . . he looked around and then up at me as if to ask "How did I get out here?" He spent two days looking like that kid form your high school history class that would occasionally interject with something from a lecture two weeks prior. 

It probably wouldn't have been so bad if we had him take the pills with water instead of gin.

One of my perks

If you think that the title of this posts means that it is yet another where I drone on about my boobs you're wrong! I'll do that one tomorrow if I have time.

I didn't really get a raise this year, and they're not paying for my internet during the conference (no really education company not paying for internet so I can do school work, go figure) but let me just give you peak at my amazing hotel room...



Green silk pillows. Along with the rest of the art deco decor in the room these are still really the center. Though I have a wing chair in the same color, the pillows really make the room. Tomorrow night after on my way up to the room I plan to stop at the bar downstairs and get a far too expensive drink and lay on these pillows.

New Blog Up... Not at a Full Run Yet, Though

Y'all... hey! You need to get used to that one, now that I'm moving South. Anyway...

Y'all... just wanted to let you know that the blog I've been planning on establishing is, officially, established. It won't go into full swing until Summer, after the move, but I may have a post or two to put up between now and then. And so, without further ado, I present you with:

Dr. V @ PBSG

The adventure is about to begin...

Meetin' time in the city.

Time for the big meeting! Woo!! Nothing like 2 straight weeks of work with no break! I'm all packed and ready to go! See you crazy kids on Tuesday!

Wlonc ond Wingal, Back on Track... Again

Just an FYI. I'm realizing how important it is to have a place to vent. Conveniently, I already have one! So I'm back to using it. Yo.

The Shoes I Am Wearing

An agreement made long, long ago... in the Before-time. Can't really remember the why or how, exactly, all I know is that I have paid off my bet and Jenny is now in a position to buy her damn shoes.

And I didn't even have to resort to prostitution. This time.

But if Jenny gets shoes, shouldn't I? Shouldn't I, too, mark this occasion with foot candy? After much consideration (which is to say virtually none, for who really needs to give long, drawn-out consideration to the act or necessity of buying shoes?), I decided a major purchase should be made. And the best kind of purchase, too... the totally impractical kind.

Meet Arturo Chiang's Vintage Copper Snake Iman:









Aren't they beautiful? Regularly $110.00, but I got them on a little bit of a sale... and then an additional 30% off. I have spent entirely too much time admiring them and will be searching for excuses to wear them... not much call for flashy four-inch heels in the average college classroom, but I'm sure I can rationalize them at least once before the end of the year.

One problem, though: the care instructions say to keep them away from intense heat... and we know I'm almost entirely composed of hotness. A risk worth taking, however... because these are friggin' gorgeous.



I expect a similar post from Jenny. *ahem*ahem*ahem*